conceiving

She did it again. She asked the hard question. The one I am never ready for and it came from her eight-year-old mouth. I took a bite, answered a question from her younger sister, and collected my thoughts. I looked into her eyes. Those eight-year-old blue eyes. She was the one. The one who came…

Oh to hold you in my arms, to watch you while you sleep; to wrap your tiny hand in mine, to kiss your soft pudgy cheek. Oh to know the sound of your cry, to see the sparkle in your eye, to know your gender, to say your name, all privileges never attained. My precious…

I am in a waiting period in my infertility journey, but many of you are in a season of going. Going involves a different kind of waiting. When we are going, we wait for doctors, test results, social workers, or parental rights to be revoked. This waiting is filled with hope, expectation, and possibility. During…

Isaiah 40:31 “but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” So we are waiting for God to perform a miracle. Right? A miracle in our bodies, so we can have a…

I confess I am not always eloquent, nor do I much grace. I am a klutz who is too familiar with the taste of foot because I often find my foot in my mouth. When it comes to infertility it seems the world around us has foot-in-mouth disease. People say things that must seem funny…

I have been praying for a miracle. A miracle within my body so I can somehow conceive another child naturally; or a miracle that lands an orphan on my doorstep ready for adoption, no strings attached; or the biggest miracle of all, the one in my heart for contentment for my current situation. I am…

While trying to conceive, each month feels like a storm. The storm starts brewing as you plot and plan, watch and wait for the “perfect” time to baby dance. The clouds get darker and stormier as your hope increases because the timing was perfect. The winds start to howl as your hormones are whipped into…

Infertility is full of so many uncertainties. We question everything. Why am I unable to conceive? Did I eat the wrong thing? Did I make poor choices in my past? Did I do something, anything that has caused this pain? Our hearts are condemning us. They are calling us guilty. Guilty of being unable to…

I will be honest, the idea of having ten children, remember I had one living child prior to IVF, was frightening to me.  My first child was, well, strong-willed to put it bluntly.  So the idea of having nine more children with similar dispositions scared the wits out of me.  I wondered what God was…

Are you having difficulty conceiving a child?  Are you struggling with grief, isolation, and pain?  Is your faith being shaken?  Well sister, here is a place for you to come. I am writing this blog in the middle of my journey.  I call it the middle because I although God has blessed my husband and…