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For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. Hosea 6:6 ESV If I narrowed my marriage down to a check-list what kind of marriage would it be? I said I do. Check. I live with him. Check. I take care of our kids. Check. Marriage is a relationship. One…
Truly, truly, I [Jesus] say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24 ESV He held me in His hand. I saw the light of the sun and felt the cool breeze. Then one day He dropped me into…
I am not a morning person, but there is something I have learned. When I wake up early life goes better. I have time to spend with God before the pressures of the day squeeze me. I actually get to exercise and physically feel good. I even get time to write before I get pulled…
It has been too long since I sat down and wrote here. I’ve been somewhere on the crazy spectrum of busy since the end of May and things have slipped. Lots of things…especially the blog God called me to write. I could certainly blame the oversight on the crazy things going on around me. But…
The world may be forever changed. Seriously. Two things happened this weekend that may change the way atoms react. 1. I said that Mark Cuban was gracious. FYI Mark Cuban is the owner of the Mavericks 2011 NBA CHAMPIONSHIP team. I love basketball and I lived in Dallas for a while. So the Mavs are…
I am standing in what feels like the eye of a change-hurricane.The place where I am not making major changes, but many close to me are. People moving away, folks finding new jobs. They are changing around me and I stand in the eye not changing, but watching the havoc that these changes are wreaking….
Yesterday I shared a time when God was speaking to me. Today I want to help you determine how do you know it is God speaking? 1. God’s way takes us out of our comfort zones so that we cannot do it on our own strength. I was confident as a teacher of God’s word…
There is a lie that Satan likes us to believe. It is a lie that he has been telling since ancient times. In fact it is found in the oldest written book in the Bible. Job. The lie? If you only have enough faith only good things will happen to you. If you only believe…
My stomach often seems to be unsatisfied. It rumbles and gurgles begging for more. Sometimes I cannot trust it’s appetite. There are times I cannot seem to be filled no matter how much I eat. Those are the days that I feel like I could cut off my own arm and eat it if nothing…
Yesterday was quite the day. My little man decided he wanted to wear underwear, but not go to the potty. I am sure you can imagine the issue. He did inform me that he didn’t want to go poo-poo and so he didn’t. I am not sure what that means for his teachers at school…
I told you I finally saw my name in print the other day. Yes, my first published article! Guess what? Now you can see it! Click on the resource topic to your left and in there you will find my new article. It is about my in-vitro fertilization journey. I hope it is helpful for…
I see it in status updates on Facebook. “I won’t let you treat me like that.” I hear it on the news, “He only thought he could treat me like that!” Insert finger snap, head swivel, and the flashing lights of a police car as she is arrested for shooting her cheating boyfriend. Movies, books,…
My heart felt tight in my chest. According to my emotions, everything was wrong. Insidiously my emotions started to short circuit my brain. My thinking became muddled. My outlook became increasingly negative. Even things I was excited about seemed dull, lifeless, UGH! My emotions were in control and I didn’t like it. So I did…
Vigil to watch, to awaken, to arouse…purposeful intentional watchfulness for something that is about to happen. Marsha Ford spoke on Friday night at our ladies retreat about keeping vigil. That God keeps vigil over us, but that we are to keep vigil for God, to honor Him so that generations to come may also know…
My eyes open and I check my phone. 5:30 AM, only about four hours of sleep. I lay there in my top bunk hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep. Sleep doesn’t come. In an effort not to wake the seven other women in my room, I attempt to silently shimmy down my…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” my small voice sang. I have wanted to believe that words are just words and they don’t have real power to hurt. But even as a child singing those words they often sounded hollow. Words can and do hurt. They drip with…
“That’s a better present than my American Girl Doll,” my eight-year-old beamed. Her birthday landed on Easter Sunday this year and she received many gifts. She got her ears pierced, some new earrings, a new American Girl Doll, and even a new dress. But her best gift started last week. E, my eight-year-old, goes to…
Do you wonder on the Saturday after the cross, what Satan was thinking? Was he rejoicing over his conquest? Were he and his demons harassing the disciples and other followers of Jesus? Was he calling it his victory? Did he know yet exactly what Christ had done on the cross? The disciples, Christ’s followers, his…
The question hangs in the air. It asked by countless people across the world. “Why is Good Friday called good?” That question reverberates with me each year as Easter approaches. I wonder how I can celebrate a sham of a trial, an innocent man sentenced to die, a gruesome death, and all for me. But…
I have been memorizing the book of James. I am slowing down a bit, but I am more than half-way done. WOO HOO! This book is a challenging book. It is full of truths that begged to be lived out. One of those truths I memorized in the first chapter it says: “Religion that God…
Have you watched the movie Facing Giants? Here is a short scene I want you to watch: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKKfa7aDKHQ] God has given me a vision. It is a big one. One that I cannot make happen myself. One that I have to trust God to do in His time and in His way. At times this…
Sycamore trees fascinate me. We have several small ones in our front yard. Until about a week ago they held tight to their brown dead leaves – leaves that were once bright and green. Early last fall they turned a beautiful orange color and then they turned brown and drab. Those stubborn trees held tight…
I avoid owners manuals like the plague. If I can’t figure out how to use something then it isn’t easy enough. I get irritated if it doesn’t make sense or I can’t make it work the way I want it to work. Then if I actually have to find the owner’s manual, I grumble, complain,…
It isn’t easy being me. I don’t mean my life is harder than average. I mean it is exhausting being me. One Saturday night my husband and I had an event to attend. I only had slight acquaintances with the attendees and a bad attitude. I didn’t want to go, I was uncomfortable, scared, and…
My blood pressure sky rockets as I say the same sentence for what feels like the millionth time. My words are unheeded. Water continues to fill the cup held by a small hand. The cup overflows. My floor is wet. He didn’t pay attention. As a rule we all need to pay attention or life…
My pulse quickens and my mouth goes dry. I take a deep breath because I know I cannot trust my first response. I need to pray as I gather my breath, I need words to say, I need to not say what my heart is screaming. My heart is twisting itself into knots, arching it’s…
I got behind. Out of routine, out of time, out of sync. Behind in my Chronological Bible reading. I needed to read half of the March 27th reading and all of March 28th reading on March 28th. Reading the Bible in chronological order means I am in the Old Testament and will be for most…
Last week was Spring Break. I loved it. I loved sleeping in (sort of you know kids don’t really ever sleep in), I enjoyed having friends over (tremendously), and I got to see my family (haven’t seen them since Thanksgiving). Oh, but my body prefers routine. I was unable or unwilling to get in bed…
If you have been reading my blog regularly, you know I am memorizing James and I am praying on my knees for at least 15 minutes a week. Are you joining me? Let me know by leaving a comment and telling me about where you are in James or what God has been doing in…
This is a journal entry I wrote while at a ladies retreat. I was reflecting on the following verses: Psalm 42:1-2 1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with…
My heart thundered in my chest as I tied my shoe. I wanted to win…I got the ball and went up for a shot. I missed, but I knew I was fouled. You would have thought I was playing in the NCAA National Tournament. Instead I was nine-years-old playing 3-on-3 during recess with my friends….
Someone asked me knowing what I know now what I would tell my sixteen-year-old self if I could go back in time. Sixteen…Driving…High School…After school job…Kansas Bible Camp…Debate/Forensics (speaking tournaments not CSI type stuff)…Youth Group… I was the “good little Christian girl.” I carried my Bible to school. I helped lead a Bible Study (held…
If God’s plans can’t be thwarted, if He is omniscient, if He is omnipotent, then why pray? What difference does it really make? Logically it doesn’t make sense. And yet: God tells us to pray… Ephesians 6:18 “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in…
It came. The e-mail. The one I have been waiting over seven months for. The e-mail from the publisher. You know the publisher who accepted my book proposal last July at the SheSpeaks (writing/speaking) conference. Yes that e-mail. The one in the first few weeks that I waited with bated breath to come. I would…
Facebook status: “My last ultrasound showed my baby was small, next test scheduled on Tuesday.” I commented: “Praying for you.” Facebook status: “My husband is going on his 50th job interview over the last nine months. Pray he gets this one.” Many comment: “Praying” The question is what does “praying for you” really mean? Do…
I am studying the book of Daniel in Bible Study. I struggle studying prophecy. I just don’t have pertinent historical facts filed away in my brain. Then there are about as many ways to interpret prophecy as there are people. So the prophetic portions of Daniel have taught me three things. God has a plan,…
I couldn’t understand what was happening. None of it made sense. It doesn’t happen this way. Yet there I was, in less than six months my ability to conceive was stripped from me. My tubes ruptured my womb empty, my heart grieving, my babies lost. I had so many questions that didn’t have answers, at…
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFND0mLDKpo What is not going “your way,” but God’s way? Share what God is doing in His way. I can’t wait to hear about what He is doing for you.
“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) I imagine Thomas said these words with tears in his eyes, arms crossed, and maybe with a foot stamp at the end just for emphasis….
Taking a deep breath. Special time with my Lord. Time with my family (we slept on air mattresses in the living room Friday night). Continuing my workout routine (if four days can be called a routine ;). What are your Saturdays for?
I used to know a lot more than I do now. I had the best opinions about everything. I knew how to solve complicated problems because I was right. I was going to be President. It would be easy, I already had all the answers. I didn’t have experience, but I didn’t need it. I…
Ding-Dong! DIIINNNNGGGG-DOOONNNNGGGG! Rap-rap-rap-rap. Inwardly I sigh. My mind begins to roll. Didn’t I just send them outside to play? Isn’t their dad outside with them? I am just trying to get dinner started! UGH!!! I am being interrupted. Reluctantly I turn the water off and slowly with mind still churning and frustration mounting I plod…
Honor has become an important word in my house. In fact it is a word that has changed how I parent, how I think, and how I view my life before God. The idea started when I read a book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids by Turansky…
Today marks one year of Rethinking My Thinking! I hope you enjoy this vlog and watch it all the way through because then you will see it. My new logo revealed! httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqXShMX9kB8
Last week I got a call from my sister. She was preparing a devotional talk for the inmates at a woman’s prison. She and several other women go to the jail to play basketball with the inmates and share Christ with them. She had a great idea about what to share, but needed some direction….
Her eyes sparkle with awe, wonder, joy. Suddenly her eyes moisten slightly as sadness darkens her countenance. Her eyes betray her inner struggle, but only briefly. The joy returns as she bends to talk to my little man. I recognize the emotion in her eyes. I have seen it before – in the mirror. It…
Don’t ask me why, but I am still amazed at God. I guess that is good, but it seems I should expect Him to do something unexpected. Yet I am forever amazed. What has so amazed me this time? That He would use me. Don’t get me wrong. I think I am pretty smart, I…
My soul feels raw. As if it had been drug down a carpeted hall at break-neck speed. A dry, burning, prickly raw-ness that hurts, hints, points and practically begs to be noticed… Oh, but I am too busy. Want to read the rest? It is over at (in)courage. I have the honor of being one…
Did you know that I am writing a book? I have a few friends reading over the manuscript currently. One of them e-mailed me and said that the difference between Christians and Non-Christians is their foundation. The wise builder and the foolish builder went through the same flood, but the one with the firm foundation…
Here is another vlog for your enjoyment. I only wish you all could comment back in video form to my blog. Wouldn’t that be cool? httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lscIULxI6k
“EWWWWWWWW…MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY, J pooped,” her voice shakes the paintings on the walls as she flees her brother’s presence. “J we don’t want to play with you when you stink,” his other sister chimes in with the painful truth. I wince to hear her shun her brother. Oh, but I understand why. In fact there is a…
The crowds scream. They can taste the upset. My team is choking hard. It is ugly. I turn away to write this post. I love college basketball and I love watching the Jayhawks, but my identity is not wrapped up in whether they win or lose. I’ll be honest, I get really into these games….
I seriously have an issue with Valentine’s Day. As a kid my parents did give us candy and tell us they loved us. At school I got candy and those little cards that get thrown away almost as soon as you get home. I gave them too. As I got older, I secretly wished a…
We open our hearts to one another. Share the hard things. The stuff that we struggle with. The things that leave our souls raw. The things we know are not quite right, but are not sure how to change. Some of the raw places are of our own making and others are wounds caused by…
Deep down that word makes me cringe. It makes the inner rebellious child in me stand up and say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.” It is hard for me to swallow the truth that I need help. The bottom line is that I like to think I have it all…
My eyes pricked with tears – tears seem to come frequently – as I choked out the words to the song. Grateful, humbling, overwhelming tears. The kind that come from deep joy, deep sorrow, and the awe of amazing grace. The joy that God would save me, the sorrow that my sin would cost Him…
“It’s my dun mommy,” his voice louder than necessary as he points to a plastic cap on his coat. “I shoot bad duys [guys].” “Shhh, it is OK to pretend to shoot bad guys, but we need to use our indoor voice,” I encourage and quietly pray no one heard him. He persists in describing…
The tears started to flow. I felt terrible. I had forgotten. The full parking lot told the story. TODAY WAS MOMS AND MUFFINS! The day when I am supposed to get up early and get the kids to school early so we can eat muffins or donuts and hang out together. I had completely forgotten….
My blessings have been prodding and poking the painful places in my soul lately. As God is apt to do He uses their naivety to shed light on things I would prefer to leave in the dark. He shakes me awake through them as they open their hearts to me… “Mommy, I want another baby…
Yesterday I woke up in pain. Long story, but I got kicked (purely accidental) hard in the head while I was sleeping. So I ended up with essentially whip lash…I have had it twice due to car crashes…This kick brought it back. So I stood in our church service and felt like I may vomit…
So God has been working on me about grace. I am slow to learn, but yesterday something came to me… When I remember that I am in desperate need of grace, I am free to extravagantly extend grace to others. It frees me up to love God for He is the giver of all grace…
“Hooters?!” I said incredulously as we drove past what used to be an empty commercial lot. “Yep,” my husband nodded and he made the first left turn after Hooters to head to our lot. The lot we were building our new house on. I could hear the questions before they came. The questions from little…
I feel blessed to help lead my church’s Wednesday night ministry to fifth and sixth graders. They challenge me, they ask me hard questions, they drive me to my knees often (either that they know Him better or that they sit quietly for two seconds in a row so they can learn). Anyway, last night…
Longing…Oh the stretching, longing, burning… The dream of what could be, where to go, but how to get there hangs in the air… We can’t see it. The journey from here to there, but the hope of there is planted firmly in our hearts. The here seems insignificant, unimportant, little. Oh but what we do…
Growth is my word for 2011. I felt God had stretched me in 2010 and now He needs to grow me into those stretched out places. Oh, but often growth is painful… I remember being in the fourth grade and hitting a growth spurt (if you could call it that). I am vertically challenged. In…
Difficult times come into everyone’s lives. Incomes drop, jobs are lost, loved ones die too young, health issues, relationship struggles. We all face some difficult situation that drives us to our knees. Some of us are blessed with hardships. It seems like we are similar to Job. One difficulty or trial comes after another, like…
My sweet girl, not quite eight, was sitting in church with me. She held tight to her treasure – a few coins she intended to offer to the Lord, placed in a special bag. As the offering plate passed by, she plopped her coins in the plate – a loud clinking sound. Then she turned…
I would LOVE to know if any of my posts really touched you. I would like to know if you have a favorite. Any on post that you remember or that particularly touched you? Here are a few links to my favorites of 2010: Poop Cake God Cracked the Egg Got Floss? Mittens in Summer…
I love this time of year. Christmas, the time we celebrate the birth of our God-man, baby-king, Word-became flesh, God with us. Then the end of the year. The time to think back about the year we are leaving and look forward to the New Year. I have to admit I am a bit of…
We went to visit family last week. We loaded the van with bags, toys, DVDs (to keep the kids from rioting), and presents. We were nearly done with our trip. About two-thirds of the way to our destination and it happened. I threw-up…in an empty cup, but none-the-less I lost my cookies. The next two…
Sometimes simple things point to profound spiritual truths. The egg. Three parts – the shell, the white, the yoke – yet one egg. God. Three persons – the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit – yet one God. So what happened over 2,000 years ago when Jesus came to Earth? God cracked His egg. He…
I love the apostle Paul and the words God gave Him to write. He doesn’t beat about the bush. He gets to the heart of the matter and tells you exactly what is going on. “Foolish Galatians…” he wrote in Galatians 3:1. That comment makes me sit up a listen. I love to hear others…
In 1 Peter 4:7 we read “the end of all things is near.” I blogged about how knowing the end is coming helps encourage me to finish well. You can find that post here. The phrase “the end of all things is near,” peaks my interest, I want to know more. However instead of telling…
Here is my continued list of things for which I am thankful…Let me also add I am continuing to pray for the Chilean mine rescue. They have got to be exhausted, but praise God that things are going so well. Please pray with me! 51. for older saints who help guide the way. 52. for…
Love you. The words tear at my heart. Insatiable longing for who is not, at least not yet. Love you. Echos again in my mind. Ripping my heart open for what is not mine at least not yet. Love you. Whispered this time, as through time and space from some unearthly place. As if to…
You know how God has a way of using your words against you? My last post was on being clear minded…Well, I have been anything BUT clear minded lately. Let me give you an example… Fall is the time I LOVE to burn candles. I don’t know why, but I do. So I lit several…
In part one of this series we discovered that God desires a quality faith. Quality faith says, “I know God is able, but He may not do what I desire Him to do. Regardless, I will not stop worshiping Him.” Part two of this series laid out how we develop a quality faith. Through seeing…
“The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded…” 1 Peter 4:7 You can check out part one of this post here. Since the end of all things is near – near in God’s sense of time, not ours – Peter gives us instructions. There first instruction is to be clear minded. Honestly…
I have had this subtle, but real discussion with God lately. He is asking, “Do you trust Me?” My knee jerk response is much like Peter’s response to Jesus after Jesus rose from the dead. He asks Peter, “Do you love Me?” Peter says, “yes.” Jesus asks him three times. Peter responds three times. By…
Here are some more things I am grateful for…. 26. for my husband who encourages me 27. for the cooler fall weather 28. for the smell of smoke from burning leaves 29. for football (yes I am one of those girls) 30. that God does not leave us alone, but that He transforms us 31….
Call me crazy. You may already think that I am. A few weeks ago God laid something on my heart. Pray for Noah. I know several Noah’s. I have a nephew Noah, a friend’s child is Noah, there is a baby named Noah at church. I can’t tell you why I am praying for Noah,…
“Almost there,” inwardly I cheer myself on as I near the end of my run. “This is the end, I can do it.” Now don’t go thinking I run a marathon or anything. I have only recently began running again and towards the end of two miles I have to convince myself that I can…
Dreams deferred often equates to joy deferred. During this IF journey, I have often struggled with finding joy in today. I am fixed on joy when I finally get a baby, instead of joy today. So in the process of finding joy today, I want us all to think of things we are grateful for…
“Submit woman,” booms a joking, but attempting an authoritative voice. Then laughter quickly follows. We all snicker at the idea of submission, especially in our culture of individual rights. Who would ever lay down their own rights and their own desires for someone else? The problem is that we have submission and oppression confused. Oppression…
I am going to join the Gratitude Community and start listing things for which I am thankful for…I hope you enjoy this list. It will become a regular part of my blog and I hope that it blesses you. 1. For God, that He created the Earth knowing He would have to send His Son…
In part one of this series, we learned that God is not looking for quantity of faith from us, but that He is looking for quality faith. The type of faith that says God is able to give me a baby, but if He doesn’t give me a baby, I will still serve and honor…
I have felt the pressure from others that if only I had enough faith, then God would give me a child. I never should have used fertility treatments. So I have decided to do a series of posts on faith and infertility. Have you ever thought, if only I have enough faith, I can have…
Last Wednesday was the 20 year anniversary of See Ya At The Pole. Students in junior high and high schools across the globe gather at the flag pole to pray. I remember being at the flag pole in front of my school that first year, twenty years ago. My heart was skipping beats. I felt…
I know God has plans for me, yet I long for a child. I am content and full in Him, but I long. I hunger for more. I desire more. In that longing, however there is contentment. The kind that says, “God I trust my dream to Your plans.” I still hope, I still long,…
There it was on the counter, three containers of milk, a bottle of allergy medicine, and a stick of deodorant for my husband, a testimony to God’s faithfulness, His provision. Oh and conviction for sin in my life. Seriously? How could something so mundane as what was on my counter SCREAM God is faithful, He…
I admit it is easy for me to think much like the Pharisees (Luke 8:10-14), I am glad I am not like that sinner. I mean, I haven’t killed anyone, I have stayed faithful to my marriage vows, and I don’t get high on wine, much less illicit drugs. I have this Christianity stuff down…
On this infertile journey I have often sobbed and cried out to God. Why? Why me? Why this? Why not me? I have mourned babies that I never got to hold in my womb much less my arms. I have cried tears of joy, anticipation, fear, and pain. At times I would wonder if it…
“The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NASB) I like to think that I am faithful. I do not cheat, I do not steal, I mostly do what I say I will do. I am patient, at least most of…
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