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You have a calling. Yes, you momma with the unwashed hair and spit-up stained shirt, you have a calling. Yes you who have made a mess of things again and you wonder if God could really use you. All of us, we have a calling and God tells us to live worthy of it… And…
Every ministry I touch turns to ash, my perfectionist self handed down the verdict as I wandered memory lane. My heart squeezed tight as I felt the truth of it. God can’t use me because I just mess things up. The lie felt like a heavy weight around my shoulders and though I knew it was a lie…
Discipline. It is the word God gave me for 2014. I have struggled with that word all year long. And at the end of 2014 I am still only scratching the surface of what that word really means. 1. I learned that I am a fallen broken woman who cannot stay disciplined on her own…
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising…
As a foreword…today I will be a guest on My Journey of Faith blogtalk radio show. It begins at 1:30 PM Central. I would love to have you join me. Sometimes unthinkable things happen all around and there is nothing you can do to stop it. A tornado hits, a hurricane blows, or a flood…
There are two statements I heard from godly people when I struggled with infertility. “Fertility treatments are wrong…” said by someone who did not research these treatments. Or…”I look at fertility treatments like I do blood pressure medicine. If you need it take it…” Neither answer understands the procedures nor the moral and ethical considerations of…
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28 Tension wrapped its fingers around my shoulders and heart. Messed…
“…people who are too spiritual for the church are also too spiritual for the triune God who promises to be present and at work in this all-too-questionable Christian community” – Shirley Gutherie, Always Being Reformed I’ll be honest I often look at churches or think about “the church” in general and agree it is all-too-questionable. Folks…
I am so excited about this new book coming out later this month…I think next week! So I wanted to share it with you…Readers even if you do not have children of your own, this book will help you nurture the children you have influence over. Have you ever felt like you wore so many…
I had twelve extra people (all family) stay at my house over the holiday weekend. That brought the total in my house up to 17 people – 9 kids, 8 adults – one dog, and one three-month-old puppy. There was lots of food, fun, swimming, and even a triathlon for the kids. They all packed…
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. Proverbs 12:1 Yes the Bible uses the “s” word as my kids say. (And I’m happy that is what they think the “s” word is for now.) Hates reproof…That bowing up I get when someone tells me I mis-spelled a word on my blog or that…
About twenty years ago the sun beat down from the late May sky as a stiff Kansas wind blew hard. I held my purple cap in place as I heard my name and walked across that stage. Graduation day – a day of joy, excitement, the world opening up to me. But also a day…
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1…
There is something that happens in the quiet. When I am alone and no one can see me or hear me. I often sing…I may even dance…And I don’t have to worry about what other think. But I can fool myself in those times of quiet. I can pretend there really are no rules for…
I walked bare foot through the wet grass to the pots that contained my herbs. My oldest, she held an umbrella as the morning sky lightly sprinkled and followed me with her shoes on. As I snipped the basil she breathed in the earthy aroma and smiled. We walked a few steps to the cilantro…
“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the…
Words issue from my mouth and sometimes they are gifts and bring life. Other times they fly forth as weapons taking deadly aim. They tear down those around me and myself. And sometimes when someone asks, “What are you having for breakfast?” the question gets lost in translation. I hear, “I want to be in your…
Often the cure to what ails us is not easy. Losing weight takes self-control and lots of sweat. Wounds must be cleansed to heal properly. Sometimes surgeries are required. And often there is pain that comes with the cure. No wonder Jesus asked the man who had been lame for a long time, “Do you…
“Alright Ms Angela,” my instructor encouraged as he held out a red paddle shaped target. Last one is my best one, my mind whirled as I put my right foot forward prepared to kick. I twisted my torso and legs to my left, then lifted my left leg up to kick the target. The next thing I knew sharp pain…
There are times when I just stop. Times when life’s circumstances cloud my mind and my heart and I just can’t see beyond the tip of my nose. And instead of staying disciplined to cling to God, stay in His Word, and be obedient to His call…I just stop. There are times when we must…
“No, sir! If you want to be cured of your sin, do not back away from God but run to him with more confidence than ever, entreating him as if you had suddenly been struck with a physical malady.” – Martin Luther Lent is a time to find joy in the midst of dark desert…
“I haven’t been writing,” I confessed to my friend who asked about it. “And honestly it is sin…” Sitting in an auditorium with about 800 other women it hit me. All those days I hit snooze for one excuse after another and didn’t “have time to write” I was walking in sin. I convinced myself…
For my current seminary course I had to write a short-ish post about courage and how it relates to the theological virtues of faith, hope, and love…I thought you all might find it interesting… According to Merriam-Webster.com courage is the “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” And courage…
If you haven’t heard me say it before or read it on this blog let me be clear…. I am a stumbling child of God…I walk through this life making choices and praying for wisdom and still I struggle. My husband pulled me kicking and screaming (almost) into teaching fifth and sixth grade Sunday School…
Dear friends, I want to clear up some misconceptions and to encourage Christians to be prepared to answer the question, “what is sinful.” Below are my prayerfully thought out conclusions. Sin is any action, attitude, thought, or words (whether spoken or written) that misses the perfect holy mark set by God. Sin then is defined…
“I suck.” The words slipped out and I hate those words…Great now I’m using words I told my kids never to use…I cannot get today right. As stepped on my lawn and instantly felt the dampness from the grass. And who wears flip-flops in fifty degree weather? my mind chastised. I made it to my dark…
Based on Luke 8:43-48 The crowd pressed in around her as the smell of humanity stung her nostrils. Closer, she thought, I have to reach Him. She hugged her rough shawl around her head and face. They can't recognize me. They know I'm not supposed to be here. I defile everything I touch, but I…
The dog barely limped down the stairs outside and I knew. I had to take her to the vet. She isn’t even two yet and she was clearly in pain. “Don’t forget to call the AC repair guys,” my husband reminded me as he left for work. My shoulders tensed and my heart clenched tight….
The cool night air enveloped me as I stood barefoot in the grass. The inky black night increased my anxiety as my beagle pup barked at the small black thing. I called to my pup, she refused to come. Instead she continued her barking and periodic lunging at the black thing. It doesn’t look like…
Happy Monday! I have missed writing over the last few weeks. I miss hearing from you all. But I have something fun and exciting to share with you. The M.O.M. Initiative is offering a conference for moms, moms who mentor, and ministry leaders. It is called Better Together. This conference is for moms of any…
Last week felt like darkness… A sick child, battles over school work, a co-op class to teach, my seminary class work to do, and life… It felt heavy and dark and never-ending… I’m never going to catch-up. I’m a terrible parent. And I want more?!? I can’t even keep afloat with the children I have…I’m crazy…
She fell and something snapped. He came running wild-eyed into the kitchen. “She hurt her arms. She’s screaming…L,” his eyes round as saucers as he pointed out back. Her daddy ran and something in my heart snapped too…I waited, I walked, and met them bare footed in the damp grass. Mud covered one arm of…
My eyes glazed over a bit. The incessant noise sent tension through my shoulders and into my neck and brain. Could my brain short-circuit with this much information flowing to it so incessantly? Their smiling faces and high-pitched laughter strummed my raw nerves. I took a deep breath attempting to slow the electricity flowing through…
Tears pricked my eyes. I smiled, but it didn’t make it to my eyes. I was too tired to try. My heart squeezed tight and the world seemed to spiral down… And there really wasn’t a reason why…No diagnosis for myself or my family…No financial issues…Just the stress of life and change…the painful kind. The…
There once was a white foam cup filled with dirt that bright-eyed girl brought home from school. “They’re tomatoes,” she declared and my heart clenched tight. I kill everything they bring home in little white cups. My thoughts swirled. “We have to plant them mommy,” her emphatic declaration only drove the doubt deeper. How do I…
Sometimes I just can’t find the beat in life. I wake up morning after morning and the rhythm of life does not match the rhythm of my heart. And I know I am the one who is off-beat – not the good kind of off-beat. The kind when I am left looking around trying desperately…
I saw it in her hand as she waited for her teacher to open the van door. My heart fluttered nervously. It can’t be, my mind raced. Sure enough as soon as she stepped into the van her smile shone bright and she held out the small white styrofoam cup. “Look mom, tomato plants,” she slightly…
“…a stiff-necked people.” Over and over again as God deals with His chosen people – the Israelites – that is what He calls them. And as God chastises the Israelites those words echo in my heart and mind. I.AM.STIFF-NECKED. I am stubborn, rebellious, and just plain ignorant. Still God calls me His precious child, righteous,…
I am not a morning person, but there is something I have learned. When I wake up early life goes better. I have time to spend with God before the pressures of the day squeeze me. I actually get to exercise and physically feel good. I even get time to write before I get pulled…
“It’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. So why do I think harshness will lead my kids/husband/friend/co-worker to repentance? My tone either can hinder or encourage repentance. Which tone will I choose?” Those words flitted across my heart and I knew. . . I was guilty. . . Guilty of tonal offense. Tonal offense…
It has been too long since I sat down and wrote here. I’ve been somewhere on the crazy spectrum of busy since the end of May and things have slipped. Lots of things…especially the blog God called me to write. I could certainly blame the oversight on the crazy things going on around me. But…
It happened to Moses, his face went from radiant directly after meeting with God and slowly the light darkened. I knew it happened as I came home from camp. It was easy to feel close to God when you are away from electronics and surrounded by folks who honored God. My sweet 10-year-old even noticed…
I turned over and hit snooze on my alarm. I couldn’t keep my eyes open and nine minutes later the alarm woke me up again. So tired. And it rolls like ocean waves under the surface. I ride the waves in my dreams. I hold tight to God as I wake and I am tired….
Today I have the privilege to speak the good news to about 100 kids… Vacation Bible School begins… And this year I get to be on stage and encourage kids and I am super excited, but also super aware of the heaviness. This is important stuff and there is a battle raging for me to…
Some of my dearest friends struggle with anxiety. I can’t understand it, but I know it is real. It can paralyze them, suffocate the life out of them, and bring them down a spiraling dark hole – a hole they cannot climb out of, not without help. I can pray for them. I can help…
In case you missed it my word for 2013 – the one I know God gave me – is wait. And I laugh because I do not wait well and God is clearly growing me as I wait. The more I wait the more things change around me and the more I change. Exodus 14:14…
They said it as they stood near a furnace hot enough to kill men who came near. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego told king Nebuchadnezzar, “. . .our God, whom we serve, is able to rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire. And from your hand, O king, let him rescue us. And if not,…
It’s been a crazy week. A trip to Memphis last weekend. Mother’s Day. A new seminary class started this week. Dance recital rehearsals, lots of them. An appointment with home repair folks. AWANA awards picnic. Planing a baby shower. Field day at school. Then another recital rehearsal, decorating for a baby shower, the actual recital,…
I stand and wonder. I strain my eyes to see the days, weeks, years that could be down that road. Murky images of maybes and what-ifs dance around the curve. I turn to look down the other path and hope to see something else. Something more substantial. Is this the road? Each path holds promise…
My scars and old wounds, I revealed them this weekend. Tore the bandage off the hidden ugliness behind the pain and wounds. In front of women I never met, but I knew a part of their struggle. I stood in a room full of women dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss and I spoke…
My fingers are not the most nimble and at times texting can be dangerous. The dreaded auto-correct makes an innocent text sound like a proposition. And when I meant to text my husband “Love U 2,” my finger slid or something it I sent “Love U 3.” I smiled and quickly sent another text “2….
So I told you all last week that things were changing around here… I just didn’t know exactly how. SO here is the new plan… I will post Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays… Monday will continue to have a reminder of the Scripture we are memorizing and something God is teaching me. Wednesday will once a…
Today I woke up feeling like all my nerves were raw. Every little thing that didn’t go right stretched and irritated. I spoke with an edge. I asked for forgiveness from. . . the whole family. . . more than once. SIGH! And it hurts because I don’t want to be cranky and mean. I…
Her eyes glistened slightly as her shoulders tightened. She sighed and blurted out, “Mom, I left my water bottle in my backpack and now there is a big mess.” My heart sank. I envisioned a huge puddle of water in the closet ruining the dark maple stained hardwood floor. “What do you mean big?” I…
This year God told me to wait. Wait for Him to move. Wait for Him to fight. Wait for Him to make things happen. And He has moved, fought, and made things happen. And still He tells me to wait. Wait so I can see Him move in amazing ways. Wait so He can heal…
Hello friends… On Wednesdays I typically write about how God really got me during the week. I share something He is teaching me and I offer a chance for other bloggers to link-up a post and share what God is teaching them. And now it is time for a change. I am not sure what…
Mondays can be difficult – especially Spring Mondays with pollen and allergies and children who cannot quite overcome the fatigue of the weekend. Words fly hard and fast. Words that sting, words that anger, words that wound. Why do they wound so deeply? And I am the wounded leader. Praying God gives me self-control so…
Monday bombs exploded, lives changed, three died. And we didn’t know who it was. . . Thousands of miles away shocked I cried and prayed. I couldn’t imagine what those in Boston were experiencing. By Friday night we had two suspects – one was dead and the other in custody. Still we wonder. Who were…
Words are only words and actions…They are actions… But words they create things. Our words set the tone for our day. They mark our attitude towards circumstances. Words mean something. “It is what it is.” or “This is tough, but I know God has a plan.” “I’m never going to ____________.” or “With God’s help…
My twin sister didn’t like dresses. At. All. We were probably five and she fought my mother as Sunday after Sunday we wore dresses, slips, tights, and fake patent leather shoes. I loved to wear dresses, but most days I played in the dirt and watched ants work. So for a few hours on Sunday…
I didn’t grow up singing hymns. My small church didn’t even own a piano – we had an acoustic guitar, bass guitar, and a drum set…At some point we had a keyboard, but it wasn’t often played. And I wore things like athletic shorts to church because I could and partly because it was a…
Yesterday I was in bed by 9 PM. Yes I missed as one of my friends put it “One of the best [NCAA Men’s D I basketball] championship games ever.” In fact I didn’t even turn it on. Perhaps someone should check my temperature… Anyway, the question is did I get up in the morning? The…
Yesterday was wonderfully busy. In the truest sense of the word wonderful. My husband took two kids to school. I took one to eye therapy and then to school. I talked to my sister on the phone. That was a treat because we kept missing each other over the last week or so. I took…
I feel it my my soul when I struggle to do something. Anger boils hot. It bubbles in different forms. “This stupid computer.” “It’s not abstract?! If you have to say it isn’t terribly abstract it probably is abstract.” “UGH! Why doesn’t this work the way I think it should work!” Underlying my frustration is…
So take courage! For I believe God. It will be just as he said. Acts 27:25 There was a storm raging. Waves battered the wooden boat. The wind howled so loud one had to scream to be heard. The storm raged for days and days. All aboard the little boat were sure they would die….
“Are you at the school yet?,” I said breathlessly into my cell phone. “No, I’m at the stop sign,” my husband answered. “Why?” “L has eye therapy this morning,” my heart clenched tight. We missed her last appointment because it was Spring Break and I forgot. “I’ll drop E and J at the school…
Today I have a post at The M.O.M. Initiative with ideas about how to teach kids about Easter. God puts a lot of emphasis on names. He has many different names to help us understand His character better. We cannot completely understand Him as He is just like a dog cannot understand his master completely….
Today I have a post at The M.O.M. Initiative. It gives you tips about how to encourage or help out a friend dealing with infertility. Check it out by clicking here. Today I normally do a link-up, but not going to do it. I have been crazy busy with school, family, church, life. . ….
How can I respond without entering in the whirling emotions? How do I act when my souls steams angry hot from the daggers they just threw? Jesus did it with stories and sometimes I pray a story will come, but most often my words, sharpened with anger, spew from my angry hot soul. At times…
It seems like there is fire in my nerves. My heart clinches tight and although nothing is really wrong everything irritates. My raw soul seeks out offense and bristles at anything that does not go my way. My words drip with frustration. And I can’t seem to stop. Perhaps I am still learning to wait….
I’m drowning in about 1300 years of church history. The paper is due Sunday night and I haven’t written one word. I do have a bunch of notes though. And in the middle of this paper my stomach cramps and my brain swirls. Then there is life. Crazy life. Beautiful and messy (literally both milk…
Life is messy. My broken jagged edges scrape against the wounds of others. I tear them open. Bleeding they turn frustrated words and broken pieces tear at my heart. And words can’t be taken back. Once said or written they can be repeated or re-read or forwarded or copied. The sting in my words –…
Hello friends. . . guess what? No, not “chicken butt…” We have been memorizing Psalm 40 in the NIV 1984 version and that version is no longer available online. Why you may ask? Well Bible translators always strive to make sure their translation is accurate and understandable. In 2011 NIV put out a new translation…
I don’t see a way out of this. How will this work out? When will this work out? Sometimes change is slow and steady like the gradual erosion of near rivers. It takes years to see the marks and changes the erosion caused. Other times change is forced upon you like a sudden storm. It…
My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:6 2013 is the year God told me to wait. Wait on Him to move. Trust in Him. Rest in His plan. Pray, prepare, and wait. And now in the season of Lent my waiting…
Tradition. That word chafes my heart. It seems restrictive and judgmental. Heroes of the faith broke tradition and brought revival. At times tradition feels like a pair of skinny jeans two sizes too small. If I can get them on they will restrict my movement, make it difficult to eat, maybe even breathe. But is…
Last week was a wild one. . . We didn’t have school on Monday and visited out-of-town friends for the day. We also bought my mother-in-law a great birthday present that I have yet to mail. . .Ahem. On Wednesday it snowed in the SOUTH! My guess is maybe three inches, but that is huge…
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12 The dictionary says content means a state of peaceful happiness. Paul…
It is disorienting – this amazing grace wrapped in love. This God who is love and sent His Son to die for those who are not love. If my heart doesn’t want to burst happy and painful at this truth something must be wrong. Have I grown complacent? Happy to sit and watch, judge and…
I wrote the post from yesterday on Sunday. . . I titled it What if I Looked for God’s Glory in the Mundane? Yikes that is a LONG title. I wrote things I meant, things I long to do, like, “Oh to no longer see my circumstances as good or bad, but as part of God’s…
Priorities. I like to quickly gloss over that word and believe I have all my priorities straight. I mean I am a wife and mother first. We eat dinner together around the table more days than not. I intentionally plan time with my husband, kids, and even my friends. I set aside time daily to…
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 The beeping of my alarm wakens me and I stumble to the bathroom. I flip the light switch and the light…
In case you get the wrong idea about me I want you to know somethings. 1. My kids are not always perfect. 2. I am not the perfect wife or mother. 3. My house is often a wreck and we pay someone else to clean it. 4. I love to cook, but I don’t like…
There are moments in life when the lights of my soul turn on again. I faintly hear the angels singing and life feels full of potential and opportunity even in the face of adversity. Those are the days I can’t wipe a silly grin from my face and my responsibilities seem manageable and I don’t…
I sat on the gray carpet in the middle of five four-year-olds and I listened. I listened to a story about a zebra possibly named Zippy while my little man leaned against me. A little girl leaned against me too as we learned about the Good Samaritan. I love God’s Word and the story gave…
Raw. Everything felt raw and open and bare. Battered and bruised I longed for peace. Everywhere lurked battles. Weary nothing seemed to soothe my soul. God’s Word even burned my weary soul and I wondered. How long can I do this? My soul aches. How long? I knew God heard and yet no peace came. I…
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6 Father God, we – Your church – are messy and broken because we are sinful folks. Lord…
Today I have the honor of having a guest post over at my friend Amy’s blog. Her blog is Pieces of Amy and I love it. Check out my post titled Less is More. Along the same lines of Less is More is this post. When Small Things Really are Big But God chose the foolish…
Whether you agree with President Obama’s policies or not as our leader he deserves respect and needs our prayers. My heart has been heavy for the need of praying for our nation. I do not want to fail to pray for our nation and our leaders. Samuel – the prophet/priest – before he died said,…
“Let’s buy a puzzle and put it together,” my eyes shined as my heart ached to spend time with my husband. He raised his eyebrows and smiled, “You want to spend time with me?” I grinned and nodded. “Yes.” So we bought this puzzle. A cool free app for video animation? Straight up our alley….
Now may the God of patient endurance and of encouragement grant you ⌊to be in agreement⌋with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that with one mind you may glorify with one mouth the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore accept one another, just as Christ also has accepted you, to the glory of…
I have some exciting news today I am a guest on Lisa Shaw’s blog-talk radio show called The Whole Woman. I will be speaking about my part of The M.O.M. Initiative. You can listen to it live today at 10 AM CST or 11 AM EST or 8 AM PST. About twenty minutes after the…
I prayed for a word for 2013. God gave me one word. . . I struggle against waiting often. Sitting still seems wrong. I should be doing something. Anything. Yet God keeps bringing the word to my mind. First in the Psalm we are memorizing. Psalm 40:1, “I waited patiently for the LORD; he…
“She’s puking her toenails up,” Jimmy, the triage nurse barked into a phone. “I need a wheelchair to get her to a room.” My muscles cramped in pain. Dehydration will do that to you. Once in the room, I looked at the big white clock on the wall. 2 A.M. CNN blared reports of how…
I met Christen at a conference called She Speaks in 2011. I reconnected with her another conference called Allume this past October. She has a heart to share God’s word with women and children. I know you will be blessed by her post. When the Wait Becomes Dwelling “One thing I ask of the…
My daughter’s eyes shined bright with anger and hurt. “You forgot mommy.” The truth burned into my heart. I did forget. I forgot and I missed something important. I was helping a friend but that didn’t matter. I messed up. My heart squeezed tight and the world around me tilted. Oh, sweet daughter, I want you…
Words. I write them, think them, and say them. It is what I do – what God created me to do. I feel God’s smile on me as I share the words He has given me. Yet over the last few days I haven’t had words to adequately express what is going on in my…
Today I have something different to share with you – an interview with Shannon Ethridge. She is a best-selling author and international speaker. Not only that, but she shares what she has learned about writing books and speaking with others seeking to honor God in the same way. This post is much longer than normal,…
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