Finding Joy

Rain. It fell sporadically throughout the morning.

 

The clouds hid the rising sun and it fit.

 

This morning wasn't going to bring the hope of a new day. It was the day my fears would be confirmed. The day my doctor drew blood. The test would say what the home test told me the day before. I. Was. Not. Pregnant.

 

And the clouds hid the sun in my heart too.

 

And I fought to shake the clouds away. Tears stayed at the surface. It is easy to slip into a cloud covered life – a life without hope or joy. No easy answers came to mind. And the clouds became a part of me. My life was marked by barrenness. Where would the sun come from? I prayed for a crack in the clouds. I prayed for sun and it didn't come.

 

It took a trip to open my eyes. It was another dreary cloudy day. And as the plane took-off I saw it – the sun. I just needed a new perspective – a higher one – to see the sun.

 

Instead of seeing my barrenness from a human perspective I needed a Godly perspective.

 

A perspective that says, “God is able, but even if He doesn't I won't bow to anyone else.”

 

One that knows, “God has plans for me, plans to give me a hope and a future.”

 

A faith that remembers God's ways are not my ways, but I can trust Him.

 

And slowly as my mind moved from my earthly perspective to a heavenly one I saw the sun.

 

True joy dawned in my heart and there in the midst of the heartache I found true joy.

 

What do you do to find joy?

 

Angela Mackey

Author and Speaker

Angela is a stumbling woman in need of God’s scandalous grace. Through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, she bears the name Christian. She speaks and writes to make much of this God, His only Son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit who lives in her. She graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a Registered Nurse. She also obtained her Masters of Arts in Biblical and Theological Studies through Knox Theological Seminary.