How can I respond without entering in the whirling emotions?
How do I act when my souls steams angry hot from the daggers they just threw?
Jesus did it with stories and sometimes I pray a story will come, but most often my words, sharpened with anger, spew from my angry hot soul. At times those words are tempered. Far from how truly hot and angry my soul bubbles. That is a step perhaps in the right direction. I didn’t scream. I kept my volume lower, but tone…How do you keep angry out of a tone? No one wants to be spoken to in angry tones and yet sometimes angry tones are what is right. What is needed. Or is that just me justifying my inability to do everything in love?
And again I am reminded I cannot do this thing alone. This life of a pilgrim traveling through this world to make much of God and through His Son Jesus spending eternity with Him on the other side – it was not meant to be lived alone. Nor was it meant to be lived apart from God’s Spirit enabling me.
This road is a broken one. Yet the brokenness is redeemed and beautiful in light of a God who says He loves me.
It is a humbling road. Since I can’t do anything apart from God I must be dependent. I think I want independence, but in truth I really need and want more of God.
This road is also full of unspeakable joy and peace. When I fully invest in this road there is freedom in Christ, joy that endures all circumstances, and peace that trusts a Holy God.
It is the road of the forgiven, the redeemed, the broken and beautiful. It is the road for me.