The Land of the Living and Memory Monday
“She’s puking her toenails up,” Jimmy, the triage nurse barked into a phone. “I need a wheelchair to get her to a room.”
My muscles cramped in pain. Dehydration will do that to you.
Once in the room, I looked at the big white clock on the wall. 2 A.M. CNN blared reports of how different cities in different time zones rung in the New Year. The narrow gurney under me gave me the impression I could roll off if I made a wrong move. I turned my head, my husband curled up in the gurney next to mine. I closed my eyes and thanked God for IV fluids, pain medicines, and Zofran (an anti-nausea medication).
My husband and I spent two hours like that in the ER. It was better than the previous eight hours losing the battle against the stomach bug. It took me nearly a week to feel human again. So I am back to the land of the living.
But this stomach bug taught me a thing or two.
The stomach bug will dehydrate your body, but worry will dehydrate your soul.
Just as my muscles cramped in pain over the lack of fluid and minerals in my body, so my soul cramps in pain longing for the Truth and Living Water. I had been walking in the land of the unknown because I worried and stressed over a difficult decision. The weight of that choice still hangs heavy, but the decision is made. The Truth is God is in control and sometimes He allows tests to come. Tests so I can decide whether I will rely on His Truth or cling to my ways.
This test thought had no clear-cut answer for me. Either decision stung and burned. Instead of trusting God, I allowed myself to burn and sting and the consequences were everywhere.
If there was an ER for a dry burned out soul, I needed to head there. Instead I faked it. I knew the truth, but I fed myself lies all day long. I breathed the doubts instead of holding the truth tight to me. I feared people above God and my soul convulsed and cramped.
Now though I am walking in the land of the living. It will be a battle, but I will cling to the Truth and drink Living Water. I will clear my mind of the toxic falsehoods and cling to the balm that soothes my soul.
Slowly the balm brings life and inch by inch I give up my stress and worry laying it at the foot of the cross. There I wait. I wait for God’s direction and not mine. I wait for Him to say go. I wait. As I wait I live in the land of the living. What a beautiful place to be.
Who is still memorizing Psalm 40 with me? Let’s move on to verse six this week. Such a great reminder of what God is doing and does for us all.