Comparison is NOT Your Friend

Often on this infertility journey, we look around us and see what other people have. That sweet family of five, the teenage girl who is pregnant and unable or unwilling to take care of her baby, or even your best friend or sister is pregnant, why not me or you?

Sisters that is a trap straight from Satan. When we compare ourselves to other people, we only see the good things. We see the smiling faces, the sweet baby, but we forget that good and bad come together. We do not know if that family of five is from fertility treatments or if they are completely dysfunctional. We may know some of the things our friend or sister have been through to get to a beautiful pregnancy, but we do not know her daily struggles or trials. Our road is different good and bad. Gal 6:4 tells us that “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Oh sisters it is a lie to look at a woman and say it “MUST BE NICE.” We only see the good the facade. We know not what their journey has been or will be. However God knows. He knows what journey is best for me and what journey is best for you. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So God knows your journey God is in the journey, orchestrating the journey, and most of all He is with you on the journey.

Jeremiah continues in 29:12-14a, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.” So God knows His plans for us to give us hope and a future. What is amazing is He says THEN you WILL call on me, and come and pray to me. Often we dwell on the “MUST BE NICE” comparison attitude. We feed our hurt and our why-mes, but we do not call on the LORD. Once we put on our “God-glasses” and see our lives through His perspective, then we call on Him. When that happens He promises to be found by us and to be near to us and to hear our prayers. He doesn’t promise to give us what we want, but He does promise to be there.

Sisters when we compare all we get is darkness, isolation, and pain breeding pain. When we dare to look at our circumstances with “God-glasses,” we can see God’s promises to give us a future and a hope. Holding to that promise through the dark times, brings us to our knees to pray to Him and ultimately brings us nearer to our God. He isn’t bringing you through the darkness to destroy you, no He is bring you through the darkness to draw you closer to Him. Let us not allow our hearts and minds dwell on comparison. Let us dwell on God.

Father God, I confess I have “MUST BE NICE-itis.” Lord I look around me and desire what others have especially when it comes to children. Help me Lord to see my circumstances through “God-glasses.” Help me to hold to the truth of Your word. Father help me to take captive my thoughts that I may dwell on You, not on others. Forgive me for being self-centered, give me what I need to be God-centered. Thank You for drawing near to me. In Jesus’ mighty and awesome name I pray. Amen.

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Angela Mackey

Author and Speaker

Angela is a stumbling woman in need of God’s scandalous grace. Through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, she bears the name Christian. She speaks and writes to make much of this God, His only Son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit who lives in her. She graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a Registered Nurse. She also obtained her Masters of Arts in Biblical and Theological Studies through Knox Theological Seminary.