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For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV I hate looking weak and being a 5’3″ woman doesn’t help that perception. Maybe that is why I like martial arts so much. I feel strong,…
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9 Failure. It is a label I carry around in my heart and mind. One I plaster…
And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:23-24 ESV “If only you had enough faith, you would be healed…” I’ve heard folks utter those words too many times. Is God really a great vending machine…
My fingers are not the most nimble and at times texting can be dangerous. The dreaded auto-correct makes an innocent text sound like a proposition. And when I meant to text my husband “Love U 2,” my finger slid or something it I sent “Love U 3.” I smiled and quickly sent another text “2….
Today I have the privilege of guest posting at Hannah’s Prayer Ministry’s blog called Held. You can check it out here. Let me add that Hannah’s Prayer Ministry is a wonderful place for women struggling with infertility. Those women have walked the roads of infertility and found intimacy with God. They will not promise you…
Josiah became king of Israel at the tender age of eight. When he was 16 he began to seek the Lord. Four years later at the age of twenty he began to tear down the places of idol worship. Six years later he began to rebuild the temple of God. When the book of the…
It starts innocently. I want to honor God with the gifts He has given me. So I step out and speak and blog and write. Soon others are blessed by what I do. I hear: “God has gifted you.” “I love your blog.” “You are a great teacher.” Those words encourage and build me up….
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Yesterday was our third day of Vacation Bible School (VBS) at our church. That day is the day we present the whole gospel clearly. This year we talked about Nicodemus and his discussion with Jesus. My fourth graders had some great questions. Questions that sometimes I failed to realize… Did you know that Jesus said…
Some things happen and there are no words. Winds tear apart cities, homes, families. Cancer spreads. Office politics crack and things change, maybe for always. Birth moms have rights that do not make sense when the spirit of the law is to protect children. Children die. Families mourn the gaping hole. Marriages crumble and shake….
My stomach often seems to be unsatisfied. It rumbles and gurgles begging for more. Sometimes I cannot trust it’s appetite. There are times I cannot seem to be filled no matter how much I eat. Those are the days that I feel like I could cut off my own arm and eat it if nothing…
Yesterday was quite the day. My little man decided he wanted to wear underwear, but not go to the potty. I am sure you can imagine the issue. He did inform me that he didn’t want to go poo-poo and so he didn’t. I am not sure what that means for his teachers at school…
I told you I finally saw my name in print the other day. Yes, my first published article! Guess what? Now you can see it! Click on the resource topic to your left and in there you will find my new article. It is about my in-vitro fertilization journey. I hope it is helpful for…
Vigil to watch, to awaken, to arouse…purposeful intentional watchfulness for something that is about to happen. Marsha Ford spoke on Friday night at our ladies retreat about keeping vigil. That God keeps vigil over us, but that we are to keep vigil for God, to honor Him so that generations to come may also know…
We are at war. We, in the US, have troops fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya. All day long our soldiers wear armor. Bulletproof vests and helmets. They carry weapons to mount offensives. They are tough. I wonder what would happen if everyday we followers of Christ would remember we are at war. What if…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” my small voice sang. I have wanted to believe that words are just words and they don’t have real power to hurt. But even as a child singing those words they often sounded hollow. Words can and do hurt. They drip with…
Do you wonder on the Saturday after the cross, what Satan was thinking? Was he rejoicing over his conquest? Were he and his demons harassing the disciples and other followers of Jesus? Was he calling it his victory? Did he know yet exactly what Christ had done on the cross? The disciples, Christ’s followers, his…
The question hangs in the air. It asked by countless people across the world. “Why is Good Friday called good?” That question reverberates with me each year as Easter approaches. I wonder how I can celebrate a sham of a trial, an innocent man sentenced to die, a gruesome death, and all for me. But…
Have you watched the movie Facing Giants? Here is a short scene I want you to watch: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKKfa7aDKHQ] God has given me a vision. It is a big one. One that I cannot make happen myself. One that I have to trust God to do in His time and in His way. At times this…
I witnessed a miracle yesterday. Actually I was the one healed, so this is pretty good stuff. Seriously… I couldn’t get up Monday morning. I hit snooze a few (five or six) times. Then I actually changed my alarm so I could get more than 9 minutes of sleep in a row. I was wiped…
My blood pressure sky rockets as I say the same sentence for what feels like the millionth time. My words are unheeded. Water continues to fill the cup held by a small hand. The cup overflows. My floor is wet. He didn’t pay attention. As a rule we all need to pay attention or life…
My pulse quickens and my mouth goes dry. I take a deep breath because I know I cannot trust my first response. I need to pray as I gather my breath, I need words to say, I need to not say what my heart is screaming. My heart is twisting itself into knots, arching it’s…
I got behind. Out of routine, out of time, out of sync. Behind in my Chronological Bible reading. I needed to read half of the March 27th reading and all of March 28th reading on March 28th. Reading the Bible in chronological order means I am in the Old Testament and will be for most…
If you have been reading my blog regularly, you know I am memorizing James and I am praying on my knees for at least 15 minutes a week. Are you joining me? Let me know by leaving a comment and telling me about where you are in James or what God has been doing in…
This is a journal entry I wrote while at a ladies retreat. I was reflecting on the following verses: Psalm 42:1-2 1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with…
Someone asked me knowing what I know now what I would tell my sixteen-year-old self if I could go back in time. Sixteen…Driving…High School…After school job…Kansas Bible Camp…Debate/Forensics (speaking tournaments not CSI type stuff)…Youth Group… I was the “good little Christian girl.” I carried my Bible to school. I helped lead a Bible Study (held…
If God’s plans can’t be thwarted, if He is omniscient, if He is omnipotent, then why pray? What difference does it really make? Logically it doesn’t make sense. And yet: God tells us to pray… Ephesians 6:18 “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in…
Facebook status: “My last ultrasound showed my baby was small, next test scheduled on Tuesday.” I commented: “Praying for you.” Facebook status: “My husband is going on his 50th job interview over the last nine months. Pray he gets this one.” Many comment: “Praying” The question is what does “praying for you” really mean? Do…
I am studying the book of Daniel in Bible Study. I struggle studying prophecy. I just don’t have pertinent historical facts filed away in my brain. Then there are about as many ways to interpret prophecy as there are people. So the prophetic portions of Daniel have taught me three things. God has a plan,…
“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) I imagine Thomas said these words with tears in his eyes, arms crossed, and maybe with a foot stamp at the end just for emphasis….
I used to know a lot more than I do now. I had the best opinions about everything. I knew how to solve complicated problems because I was right. I was going to be President. It would be easy, I already had all the answers. I didn’t have experience, but I didn’t need it. I…
“‘cchaeus, mommy I wuv dat song,” he lisps as he stands unmoving in the middle of the hallway of his school. “You sing it mommy pwease,” his eyes dance as he smiles and nods at me. In my head I had a check-list of all the things we needed to do before picking up his…
Ding-Dong! DIIINNNNGGGG-DOOONNNNGGGG! Rap-rap-rap-rap. Inwardly I sigh. My mind begins to roll. Didn’t I just send them outside to play? Isn’t their dad outside with them? I am just trying to get dinner started! UGH!!! I am being interrupted. Reluctantly I turn the water off and slowly with mind still churning and frustration mounting I plod…
Honor has become an important word in my house. In fact it is a word that has changed how I parent, how I think, and how I view my life before God. The idea started when I read a book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids by Turansky…
Last week I got a call from my sister. She was preparing a devotional talk for the inmates at a woman’s prison. She and several other women go to the jail to play basketball with the inmates and share Christ with them. She had a great idea about what to share, but needed some direction….
Her eyes sparkle with awe, wonder, joy. Suddenly her eyes moisten slightly as sadness darkens her countenance. Her eyes betray her inner struggle, but only briefly. The joy returns as she bends to talk to my little man. I recognize the emotion in her eyes. I have seen it before – in the mirror. It…
Don’t ask me why, but I am still amazed at God. I guess that is good, but it seems I should expect Him to do something unexpected. Yet I am forever amazed. What has so amazed me this time? That He would use me. Don’t get me wrong. I think I am pretty smart, I…
Did you know that I am writing a book? I have a few friends reading over the manuscript currently. One of them e-mailed me and said that the difference between Christians and Non-Christians is their foundation. The wise builder and the foolish builder went through the same flood, but the one with the firm foundation…
“EWWWWWWWW…MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY, J pooped,” her voice shakes the paintings on the walls as she flees her brother’s presence. “J we don’t want to play with you when you stink,” his other sister chimes in with the painful truth. I wince to hear her shun her brother. Oh, but I understand why. In fact there is a…
The crowds scream. They can taste the upset. My team is choking hard. It is ugly. I turn away to write this post. I love college basketball and I love watching the Jayhawks, but my identity is not wrapped up in whether they win or lose. I’ll be honest, I get really into these games….
We open our hearts to one another. Share the hard things. The stuff that we struggle with. The things that leave our souls raw. The things we know are not quite right, but are not sure how to change. Some of the raw places are of our own making and others are wounds caused by…
Deep down that word makes me cringe. It makes the inner rebellious child in me stand up and say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.” It is hard for me to swallow the truth that I need help. The bottom line is that I like to think I have it all…
My eyes pricked with tears – tears seem to come frequently – as I choked out the words to the song. Grateful, humbling, overwhelming tears. The kind that come from deep joy, deep sorrow, and the awe of amazing grace. The joy that God would save me, the sorrow that my sin would cost Him…
“It’s my dun mommy,” his voice louder than necessary as he points to a plastic cap on his coat. “I shoot bad duys [guys].” “Shhh, it is OK to pretend to shoot bad guys, but we need to use our indoor voice,” I encourage and quietly pray no one heard him. He persists in describing…
My blessings have been prodding and poking the painful places in my soul lately. As God is apt to do He uses their naivety to shed light on things I would prefer to leave in the dark. He shakes me awake through them as they open their hearts to me… “Mommy, I want another baby…
Yesterday I woke up in pain. Long story, but I got kicked (purely accidental) hard in the head while I was sleeping. So I ended up with essentially whip lash…I have had it twice due to car crashes…This kick brought it back. So I stood in our church service and felt like I may vomit…
In case you have a picture of me…Dressed perfectly…Perfect kids…Neat and tidy house…. Let me tell you the reality of me… 1. I LOVE to wear “work-out clothes.” Always. An elastic waistband and a cotton t-shirt make me smile. I feel home. Don’t get me wrong dressing up is ok, but I prefer active wear….
“Hooters?!” I said incredulously as we drove past what used to be an empty commercial lot. “Yep,” my husband nodded and he made the first left turn after Hooters to head to our lot. The lot we were building our new house on. I could hear the questions before they came. The questions from little…
I feel blessed to help lead my church’s Wednesday night ministry to fifth and sixth graders. They challenge me, they ask me hard questions, they drive me to my knees often (either that they know Him better or that they sit quietly for two seconds in a row so they can learn). Anyway, last night…
Longing…Oh the stretching, longing, burning… The dream of what could be, where to go, but how to get there hangs in the air… We can’t see it. The journey from here to there, but the hope of there is planted firmly in our hearts. The here seems insignificant, unimportant, little. Oh but what we do…
Growth is my word for 2011. I felt God had stretched me in 2010 and now He needs to grow me into those stretched out places. Oh, but often growth is painful… I remember being in the fourth grade and hitting a growth spurt (if you could call it that). I am vertically challenged. In…
Difficult times come into everyone’s lives. Incomes drop, jobs are lost, loved ones die too young, health issues, relationship struggles. We all face some difficult situation that drives us to our knees. Some of us are blessed with hardships. It seems like we are similar to Job. One difficulty or trial comes after another, like…
My sweet girl, not quite eight, was sitting in church with me. She held tight to her treasure – a few coins she intended to offer to the Lord, placed in a special bag. As the offering plate passed by, she plopped her coins in the plate – a loud clinking sound. Then she turned…
I would LOVE to know if any of my posts really touched you. I would like to know if you have a favorite. Any on post that you remember or that particularly touched you? Here are a few links to my favorites of 2010: Poop Cake God Cracked the Egg Got Floss? Mittens in Summer…
I long for the day when grief no longer taints joy. Our most joyful days on earth are tainted. Pain, fear, grief mingle and mix with our joy. Day I accepted Jesus as my Savior…Joy of forgiveness of sins, pure love from heaven washed the fear of hell away. Yet knowing some would still choose…
We went to visit family last week. We loaded the van with bags, toys, DVDs (to keep the kids from rioting), and presents. We were nearly done with our trip. About two-thirds of the way to our destination and it happened. I threw-up…in an empty cup, but none-the-less I lost my cookies. The next two…
The words hung in the air and flew like a dagger into my heart. “I hate you mommy.” I knew this phrase would come. I had prepared myself. However I expected it closer to puberty, not before my children were even in the double digits. Anger rises like a red flag waves in front of…
Some of you may know that I was attempting to keep up two different blogs. Yes. At one time I was writing about six posts a week. Just saying that makes me tired. So after much prayer and consideration, I decided to combine my two blogs. I will have a recurring “Infertility Girl” post about…
Sometimes simple things point to profound spiritual truths. The egg. Three parts – the shell, the white, the yoke – yet one egg. God. Three persons – the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit – yet one God. So what happened over 2,000 years ago when Jesus came to Earth? God cracked His egg. He…
I love the apostle Paul and the words God gave Him to write. He doesn’t beat about the bush. He gets to the heart of the matter and tells you exactly what is going on. “Foolish Galatians…” he wrote in Galatians 3:1. That comment makes me sit up a listen. I love to hear others…
I haven’t posted in a really long time. That isn’t really a confession since I am sure you have noticed. However, the reason behind this lack of posting is truly interesting. I have been feeling dry and raw. I think we all periodically feel distant or prickly or like our hearts are on the wrong…
In 1 Peter 4:7 we read “the end of all things is near.” I blogged about how knowing the end is coming helps encourage me to finish well. You can find that post here. The phrase “the end of all things is near,” peaks my interest, I want to know more. However instead of telling…
You know how God has a way of using your words against you? My last post was on being clear minded…Well, I have been anything BUT clear minded lately. Let me give you an example… Fall is the time I LOVE to burn candles. I don’t know why, but I do. So I lit several…
In part one of this series we discovered that God desires a quality faith. Quality faith says, “I know God is able, but He may not do what I desire Him to do. Regardless, I will not stop worshiping Him.” Part two of this series laid out how we develop a quality faith. Through seeing…
I have had this subtle, but real discussion with God lately. He is asking, “Do you trust Me?” My knee jerk response is much like Peter’s response to Jesus after Jesus rose from the dead. He asks Peter, “Do you love Me?” Peter says, “yes.” Jesus asks him three times. Peter responds three times. By…
“Almost there,” inwardly I cheer myself on as I near the end of my run. “This is the end, I can do it.” Now don’t go thinking I run a marathon or anything. I have only recently began running again and towards the end of two miles I have to convince myself that I can…
“Submit woman,” booms a joking, but attempting an authoritative voice. Then laughter quickly follows. We all snicker at the idea of submission, especially in our culture of individual rights. Who would ever lay down their own rights and their own desires for someone else? The problem is that we have submission and oppression confused. Oppression…
I am going to join the Gratitude Community and start listing things for which I am thankful for…I hope you enjoy this list. It will become a regular part of my blog and I hope that it blesses you. 1. For God, that He created the Earth knowing He would have to send His Son…
In part one of this series, we learned that God is not looking for quantity of faith from us, but that He is looking for quality faith. The type of faith that says God is able to give me a baby, but if He doesn’t give me a baby, I will still serve and honor…
I have felt the pressure from others that if only I had enough faith, then God would give me a child. I never should have used fertility treatments. So I have decided to do a series of posts on faith and infertility. Have you ever thought, if only I have enough faith, I can have…
Last Wednesday was the 20 year anniversary of See Ya At The Pole. Students in junior high and high schools across the globe gather at the flag pole to pray. I remember being at the flag pole in front of my school that first year, twenty years ago. My heart was skipping beats. I felt…
I know God has plans for me, yet I long for a child. I am content and full in Him, but I long. I hunger for more. I desire more. In that longing, however there is contentment. The kind that says, “God I trust my dream to Your plans.” I still hope, I still long,…
There it was on the counter, three containers of milk, a bottle of allergy medicine, and a stick of deodorant for my husband, a testimony to God’s faithfulness, His provision. Oh and conviction for sin in my life. Seriously? How could something so mundane as what was on my counter SCREAM God is faithful, He…
I admit it is easy for me to think much like the Pharisees (Luke 8:10-14), I am glad I am not like that sinner. I mean, I haven’t killed anyone, I have stayed faithful to my marriage vows, and I don’t get high on wine, much less illicit drugs. I have this Christianity stuff down…
On this infertile journey I have often sobbed and cried out to God. Why? Why me? Why this? Why not me? I have mourned babies that I never got to hold in my womb much less my arms. I have cried tears of joy, anticipation, fear, and pain. At times I would wonder if it…
“The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NASB) I like to think that I am faithful. I do not cheat, I do not steal, I mostly do what I say I will do. I am patient, at least most of…
Call me crazy, but I love food and I love to try different things. My kids have watched the movie Ratatouille more times than I can count and I decided I wanted to try to make it. Mind you, I didn’t want to make the difficult gourmet version as Remi did on the movie. No…
Have you ever tried to change a two-year old’s clothes while he or she is clinging to a “treasure.” It could be a book or a toy or a shoe for that matter, but he does not want to let it go. You pull the shirt over his head and his hand will not go…
“I can do all things through Him [Christ] who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13 This verse has become cliché in Christian circles. We spout it when someone complains, “it is hard,” or “I can’t do it.” We glibly rattle it off to our friend who is struggling with pain and loss. We think it is GREAT…
I hate to admit it, but I am ungrateful. Often I do not appreciate how hard my husband works, nor do I thank my children when they are kind to each other or pick up after themselves. No, I expect those behaviors. I expect as part of our marriage contract that my husband works outside…
If I had a penny for the number of times I have said, “It isn’t fair,” I would be a rich woman. Then if I add in the times I have heard it from my kids, my friends, my family, even some of my patients (back in my nursing days) I would probably be richer…
I have to admit that lately I have felt FRUSTRATED! I have made no less than nine calls to service departments for repairs around the house in the last month. Not to mention that my van’s paint job is peeling, the CD player broke, and the breaks are starting to squeal. Then there is the…
When God is teaching me something, He often gives me opportunities at putting those new lessons in action. I had no idea that a lamp would provide such a lesson, but then again who knew a plunger could help either? I recently purchased a lamp for my second blessing, L. Her bare nightstand begged for…
Samuel at the end of his tenure as Israel’s High Priest and Judge, probably felt like an epic failure. His sons were not following in his faith. They behaved wickedly, took bribes, and did not obey God. (1 Samuel 8) Not only did his sons not follow God, but the whole nation was looking for an…
Have you ever looked back over a day or a month or a year and been in awe of God’s perfect timing? How He orchestrates our lives with such minute detail? Have you ever wondered what would have happened if – I was earlier, later, or went a different direction? Maybe things would be different,…
Acts 4:13 “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” So Peter and John were ordinary. These are the men who have done miracles and seen miracles, but they are ordinary. These…
Envision a bright, sunny, winter day. Snow is on the ground, and the sun creates a magnificently brilliant, and blinding glare. That is the day this idea came to me. I was walking between classes at college, without my sunglasses on, and God seemed to tell me. “The reason you can’t look at My holiness,…
I just got back from vacation in Jackson Hole, WY. Let me tell you it was beautiful and cool and we hiked until our seven-year old thought her feet may fall off. The thing about Jackson Hole is that it is about a mile above sea water and it has NO humidity. In fact it…
Ok, so call me slow…I mean it takes me a LONG time to put a few things together and I often find that it was much easier than I think it will be. Seriously, God Himself tells us that He uses the “..foolish things of the world to shame the wise..” 1 Cor 1:27 I…
Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” How…
So at Bible Study we read and discussed the account of king Josiah from 2 Chronicles 34. He was a whopping eight years old when he became king. I can imagine the people who were behind getting him to the throne at such a young age. We know nothing of their intentions or who helped…
So my last post was on Naaman his account is in 2 Kings 5, but his account has other people in it. Namely two servants. The first one is a young girl. She was kidnapped from her homeland, Israel, during a raid and brought to Naaman’s house to serve his wife. We don’t know her…
Today is the day we Christians are to remember Jesus’ death. Just typing those words makes my heart sink. My sinful self would prefer to skip the death part, skip the pain and suffering, and move on to the glorious resurrection. Isn’t that how we go about life? God bless me, but don’t force me…
Here is a poem I wrote dated 6-20-2002 That Day You cried for me that day. You cried for my waywardness. You cried for my pain. You thought of me and You cried. You prayed for me that day. You prayed for strength. You prayed against temptation. You thought of me and You prayed. You…
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