Infertility Issues

I have blogged about my infertility journey and if you want the long story here are the links to those posts:

You are not alone
My Journey with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
Then There were 28
What Happened to the Nine?
The Final Three

The short story is this:

I had one child naturally. Then when trying to conceive (TTC) our second child, I had two different tubal pregnancies, one in each tube, and both tubes ruptured. So in about six months, I lost my ability to conceive naturally. My husband and I prayed and decided in-vitro fertilization (IVF) was the way God was leading us to expand our family. Through that process we had two more children. However I still long for more children. Against my will, God has called me to write about my journey and encourage others walking the same path with me. I’d love to learn more about your journey. Drop me a comment!

The question can a Christian use IVF is a long and winding road. I would never wish IVF on my worst enemy, but I have two wonderful children through the process. The process is fraught with spiritual, moral, ethical, and financial issues. The medications and procedures themselves are physically and emotionally draining. God must be your guide and His Word your compass. There is no one-size fits all answer, but IVF can be done in a life honoring, God glorifying way.

Is IVF right for you?

1. Pray for wisdom and guidance.
2. Make sure both you and your husband are on the same page.
3. Think through contingencies. . . What if one or both of us dies and we have embryos in the freezer? Are we prepared for the financial burden of paying for IVF and embryo storage fees?
4. Decide on a budget and stick to it. Remember you have to feed and clothe children, if you go into debt to have children you may not be able to financially care for them.
5. Consider the physical and emotional toll IVF takes on your or your wife’s body.

I have three articles that address some of these issues on Check them out here:

Infertility Treatments and God
Infertility Encouragement – Comparison is Not Your Friend
In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) – 10 Things I Didn’t Know Until it Was Too Late

I am praying for you as you consider if IVF is the direction God is leading you.

P.S. Consider joining my Infertility Support group on Facebook by click here.

195 Responses to Infertility Issues

  1. C. Anne Campbell says:

    Hi Angela,

    My husband and I have been trying to conceive for two years now. In the past year we’ve tried fertility drugs and three IUIs with no success. We’ve both gone through a litany of tests and were eventually diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility. At the suggestion of my OBGYN, we recently visited the Tulsa Infertility Clinic to try and determine what our options are.

    A few months ago my hormone levels were tested and along with that they tested my Vitamin D and Ferritin. When my Ferritin level came back elevated, we were shocked. To make a long story short, in December 2010 I was diagnosed with Hemochromatosis.

    So after many blood tests, CAT Scans and an echocardiogram, my first appointment with Dr. Mackey was today. It almost seemed like fate that God put him in my path. When I explained how I happened upon my Hemochromatosis diagnosis, he immediately shared your story of infertility.

    I explained that we’ve read about IVF, but we’ve never had the opportunity to discuss it with someone who has been in our shoes. He told me about your blog and the book you’re writing and advised me to contact you.

    My husband and I are still hoping that we will conceive naturally in the next few months, but if not we are going to try IVF.

    Would you mind sharing your insight and maybe something you would do differently if you had it to do over again?

    Thank you for listening.


    C. Anne Campbell

    • Oh Anne,

      I am praying for you and would love to give you any insight I can. I sent you a private e-mail as well. I hope you got it. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

  2. Kushani perera says:

    hi Angela

    I m a sri Lankan .I m trying for babies last one and half years.i having more dosage daily.but we not get good news yet. sometimes i think i couldn’t have a babies.i m nervous about this infertility matter

    Please pray for me.

    Thank you

  3. Fellow KBC-er says:

    Did you know that IVF “disposes” of several fertilized zygotes in the process? Several are implanted and several die. I am guessing you profess to be pro-life, but if you have received in-vitro, then you have created the equivalent of several abortions. I am sorry if this distresses you- this is not intended to make you feel bad. Just to let you see the sheer hypocrisy of the church at large, and the dishonesty of doctors who don’t tell you everything just so they can make a buck.

    You are happy your children are here, I get that. But please don’t lie to yourself with gappy info others give. Or withhold. 
    If you plumbing doesn’t work anymore, maybe you should take that as a sign that “God” does not intend for you to make more new humans? It’s not about you. It’s about the kids. There is a world full of kids who could use the attentions of a nice lady like you (sans the religious hogwash). Each fewer child you are DETERMINED to pump out regardless of signs that you might shouldn’t means a little more time for your life’s work. Yes, raising children is life’s work. But there is more than that to do in this world. We really don’t have any place “kicking back and raising a fam” with the Zionists still over our banking system. The rabbit hole is deep. Let’s work together in addition to just trying to outbreed the non-religious. It won’t happen.

    I hope your tubes do not cause you pain. 

    • Fellow KBC-er:

      1. I think you have some misunderstandings about IVF. None of my babies (zygotes) were destroyed. The doctors harvested 28 eggs and 21 fertilized. At that point I had 21 zygotes or babies. However 12 of those babies died (the zygotes stopped dividing or growing). I had 9 babies left. All 9 babies were transferred into my womb in four different transfers. Only 2 of those 9 babies survived to be a full-grown baby I could hold in my arms. At no time were babies destroyed. Trust me I asked questions, considered all the dangers, and prayed hard about the decision to use IVF.

      2. Just because God led my husband and I to IVF does not mean IVF is for everyone. 1 Corinthians 10:29b says, “For why should my freedom be judged by another’s conscience?” However if someone’s conscience pricks and they feel led by God not to do IVF then they need to not do IVF and for them it is sin. Romans 14:23b says “everything that does not come from faith is sin.”

      3. God is still in control of the IVF process. He knows which zygotes (or babies) will survive to be held in their mother’s arms. He is still God over the process. I can’t determine to “pump out” children because only God gives me children whether they are conceived in a petri dish or in my body. He is still God over it all.

      4. I have no desire to “out-breed” anyone. My only desire is to honor God and prayerfully walk in humble obedience to Him all the days of my life – wherever God leads.

      5. My tube issues periodically cause pain, but most often they do not limit my functionality. Thanks for asking.

      Fellow KBC-er, I pray that we can offer each other grace and freedom to live out our relationship with God.

    • Angela_Mackey says:

      Fellow KBC-er:

      1. I think you have some misunderstandings about IVF. None of my
      babies (zygotes) were destroyed. The doctors harvested 28 eggs and 21
      fertilized. At that point I had 21 zygotes or babies. However 12 of
      those babies died (the zygotes stopped dividing or growing). I had 9
      babies left. All 9 babies were transferred into my womb in four
      different transfers. Only 2 of those 9 babies survived to be a
      full-grown baby I could hold in my arms. At no time were babies
      destroyed. Trust me I asked questions, considered all the dangers, and
      prayed hard about the decision to use IVF.

      2. Just because God led my husband and I to IVF does not mean IVF is
      for everyone. 1 Corinthians 10:29b says, “For why should my freedom be
      judged by another’s conscience?” However if someone’s conscience pricks
      and they feel led by God not to do IVF then they need to not do IVF and
      for them it is sin. Romans 14:23b says “everything that does not come
      from faith is sin.”

      3. God is still in control of the IVF process. He knows which zygotes
      (or babies) will survive to be held in their mother’s arms. He is still
      God over the process. I can’t determine to “pump out” children because
      only God gives me children whether they are conceived in a petri dish or
      in my body. He is still God over it all.

      4. I have no desire to “out-breed” anyone. My only desire is to honor
      God and prayerfully walk in humble obedience to Him all the days of my
      life – wherever God leads.

      5. My tube issues periodically cause pain, but most often they do not limit my functionality. Thanks for asking.

      Fellow KBC-er, I pray that we can offer each other grace and freedom to live out our relationship with God.

    • Proud IVF MOM to 3 says:

       WOW!  Just WOW!!  Some very harsh words from someone who has obviously not been well educated on this topic. 

    • I can only imagine how the words you have shared with Angela would have stung to the core.  It really takes my breath away.  Even though I personally have never gone through any of the feelings or situations that Angela has, I have a great deal of empathy for her.  It is just shocking that you would take someone’s sorrow and so flippantly thrust the knife, so to speak.  While we all have the freedom to say what we want in this country, it is of the utmost importance to be respectful and loving to those around us, in soul wrenching situations such as this.

      • Tabitha says:

        Well written Heidi, I whole heartedly agree and believe that untill we have been in the same situation we can never judge another for the choices that they have made. God Bless you and Angela

    • Elize Kok says:

      Dear KBC-er,

      I read your message and it send shivers down my spine.
      Your statement that “if you received in-vitro you have created the equivalent of several abortions” is incorrect and I believe in many cases an uninformed statement to make.

      I would like to assure you that a Christian can do IVF without “disposing” of zygotes. I had this moral dilemma when deciding to do IVF and discussed it with my doctor. He asked us how many eggs we would like fertilized (as life begins at conception when sperm and egg meets) – so that we do not have to make the choice to dispose or donate (give away for adoption) any zygotes. – otherwise we would never have done it, because as much as we would like to have children one has to ask the question : “At what cost?” too.

      We decided that only 3/4 eggs will be fertilized – based on a lot of statistics that there is a less than 1% chance that all 4 eggs will make it past day 5. Therefore, 2 will be transferred back, if two makes it past the 5 day stage, and if there is 3 or even 4 blastocysts – that is the amount of kids we are willing to have. So although my body produced approximately 15 healthy eggs, as someone that is a Christian and pro-life, my husband and I decided that only 4 eggs will be fertilized to create life, as we were not willing to dispose of any fertilized eggs – if it doesn’t happen for us with those 4 eggs, then we will repeat the process and again, only use the amount of eggs we are willing to take responsibility for without doing harm or destroy life and that is it.

      I am not sure if you meant your statement: “If your plumbing does not work, maby you should see that as a sign that God does not want you to create more humans” as being offensive and rude, or if you just wanted to argue a point, but either way, should we then also say that if God wanted you to die of cancer you shouldn’t make use of technology / medicine to find a cure or if the “plumbing” in your heart doesn’t work you shouldn’t go for a bypass? Or if your eyes don’t work properly then don’t wear glasses… I think that your statement above is a very narrow minded and offensive statement to make, not even considering the amount of judgement and generalization you used in that statement alone.
      Technology / medicine in any instance is not the problem – how an individual use / abuse technology / medicine is the real problem and will differ from person to person according to their belief system (religious or otherwise). A doctor / medical staff / embryologists can and may only do as much with your body and ovum’s as you allow them to do. All the moral / ethical issues still remains your own individual decision.

      I am not even going to respond to rest of your frivolous comments at the end of your mail, because no lady should’ve utter some of that to begin with, and it really doesn’t deserve a response.

      Many blessings to my fellow Christian IVF’ers, may you always walk in the Lords guidance with regards to this very difficult and sensitive decision.

  4. Matt W. says:

    Take II:

    I probably have some of the same concerns regarding IVF that my fellow KBCer has. I don’t think, however, that I could be so abrupt in expressing them. My wife and I have never dealt with infertility ourselves, but have walked through some dark times with some dear friends. I have to admit, that I’m interested in KBCer’s history in this area, though knowing that doesn’t really change anything.

    I haven’t read all of your blog, Angela, but I’d love to hear about how adoption was or was not a part of your decision-making process. I find myself interested in adoption as a means for growing my family, even without infertility issues.

    • Angela_Mackey says:


      I always thought adoption was the way I would go. In fact my husband and I discussed adoption before we experienced infertility. I jumped onto the department of human services website to look at kids needing adoption early on, but my husband was not ready to look into adoption.

      He is the spiritual leader in our home. So I started researching IVF. I prayed…I had concerns about the sanctity of life and IVF, but my research assuaged my concerns. As we prayed and walked the road God opened the door to IVF.

      The rest is history. I still pray adoption may be in our future, but I trust God’s will and direction for our family no matter where He brings us.

  5. Maria says:

    Hi! Just found your blog… will look around. God bless. Maria -London, England. (

  6. Drug and Their Side Effects Better Avoided for Fertility Treatments There are a group of drugs generally consumed by women opting to go for artificial conceiving methods.

  7. maggiehollon says:

    It was a blessing to read this post. My husband and I have prayerfully decided to go ahead with IVF. Thank you for following God’s call and sharing your experience.

  8. Joanna says:

    Dear Angela,

    What a breath of fresh air to find your blog. Thank you ! I am just about to start my first IVF procedure after 4 years of infertility. I waited a year before seeing a doctor. Because I expressed reservations about IVF, the doctor ignored me. I didn’t know how many other things could be done. After 2 years, I developed terrible bladder problems and painful ovarian cysts. I went to the ER in so much pain and was referred to a surgeon who confirmed that I most likely had stage 4 (the top level). Two months later I had surgery where the doctors found all my internal organs (bladder, intestines, ovaries, uterus, etc) were all bound together in a great ball.

    After the surgery, the doctors told me that the best thing for my body is to be pregnant. It is not only my dream, but also helpful to combat endometriosis. After the surgery, we tried naturally for 4 months, then we tried 6 rounds of IUIs (insemination). I prayed and prayed no to go through IVF – which may also be even more painful due to the endometriosis. But here I am, I begin my shots in one week. I am nervous, and also excited. I know that God is in control but it is scary and your blog has been so helpful. I know that the IVF may not take. You are right….it is God who is the author of life…even if through IVF procedure.

    I understand those who question the ethics and morals (though not the way they expressed it). I have question these things myself and I still pray so much about the whole thing. I prayed and fasted and wanted to just quit. I am happy. But while fasting we prayed and opened the bible and it opened to Isaiah 54! Then another day when I found out I was not pregant I said, “God, I am ready to stop!” I picked up my bible and flung it open and it went to 2 Kings 8 – I did not even know this bible story about the Shunamight woman! I know I am to keep moving forward! But I wanted to go online and read some things to just make sure I am not selectively chosing my information. I found your blog! I don’t know what the future holds, but I know God holds it.

    My husband too, has never felt peace about adoption, but he does about IVF. It is also the best thing medically that can be done for my body. The other options is birthcontrol or a hysterectomy – both of which are major interventions. I am sure many of those who question the procedure of IVF don’t think about those things. I hope they are never in our position and need to think about them. But I know I am learning more about judging less, those things I do not understand in the life of another believer.

    Sorry for the length! I am right at the beginning of IVF and just so happy to have read your webpage and to express my current situation.

    • Joanna,

      I am sorry I am slow at getting back to you. I am praying for your journey with IVF. I pray God gives you grace, wisdom, and strength for this journey.

      If you would like keep me posted on how you are doing.


    • Jessica says:

      I hope your IVF was successful! I have endometriosis as well and have the same issues too…pregnancy and treat after, or BC or hysterectomy now. We have prayed and prayed about it and after 3 years of infertility and my pain getting worse and worse, we are going to do an IVF cycle this spring. I am praying it works, and then we can start treating my endometriosis.

  9. Susan says:

    Hi Angela,

    Thank you so much for your blog. My name is Susan, i’m from South Africa. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the past 6 years. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2007 and my tube ruptured, 2 years later i found out that my other tube was blocked. My Dr referred us for IVF in 2010 and I couldn’t go ahead with it due to religious and morale issues i came across when researching. I prayed and fasted for God to give me a child naturally it hasn’t happened yet. My husband and I are believers and we have faith in God that He will give us our miracle. I have recently resumed my research on IVF and Christianity and a came across your blog (a real blessing in deed), you have made me realize that i can not choose the type of miracle that I need from God, it can be natural, it can also be through IVF.

    Fertile couples usually use birth-control to have the number of children they can financially afford to raise and it is never questioned why they use contraceptives because God might want them to have more babies, why should it then be questionable or sinful if an infertile couple wants to use IVF to have children. From what i’ve heard and read, I takes a miracle for IVF to work, even Dr’s can not fully control the process. God is the source of Life, there is no life that can be without Him.

    We have started the process, still to meet with the fertility specialist. Please keep us in your prayers and forward me encouraging scriptures.

    Thank you from the depth of my heart


    • Susan,

      Thank you for stopping by and letting me know how this blog has blessed you. Also thank you for sharing your story. I am praying for you. I pray for God to give you and your husband wisdom. I pray for your physicians and for a miracle for you.

      Please keep me posted as you walk this road!


  10. Lindsay says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this blog. I have been diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and my husband and I have been struggling to get pregnant for the past 5 years. We are at a crossroads between IVF, adoption, or continuing to try for a miracle on our own. I loved hearing about your journey with IVF and appreciate that the process can give glory to God even with the science involved. God has given those doctors the tools and wisdom for a reason. We have a lot to think about and I am not sure yet if we will pursue IVF, but your blog gave me hope that IVF can be done in an ethical way that honours the sancitity of life. Also encouraging that as science improves, many of the fertility clinics are able to have high success rates with a single-embryo transfer. God bless!

    • Lindsay,

      I am so glad this blog is blessing you. I will pray for you and your husband as you consider IVF or not. I am also quite excited about the new ability to freeze unfertilized eggs. When that technology steps up as well as single-embryo transfer things will be somewhat easier for couples struggling with infertility. Blessings to you.

  11. Jasmine says:

    Hello Angela,

    My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now.
    We did conceive naturally on our own a few months ago, but miscarried very early on. It’s been 4 months now and we’re actively trying again hoping that we can conceive naturally. All of my tests are normal, but my husband has low sperm count and very low morphology. Our RE suggested we skip IUI and go for IVF with ICSI given my husband’s sperm analysis. We thought scheduling an IUI was a big step and would work for us, but now I’m even more torn apart and in shock that we may have to jump to IVF with ICSI.

    Of course, questions haunt me day and night, that is this what we’re doing against God’s will? We want kids badly and we’re very close in scheduling the IVF next cycle unless we conceive this month naturally – the odds are against us, but I continue to have faith.

    We may just take the leap and go for the IVF.

    I’m glad to have found your blog. I know I’m not alone in this journey and that there is hope.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    Staying Strong.

  12. cecilia says:

    Hi Angela,
    Thank you for the broader perspective on IVF as a christian. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have tried to conceive naturaly but that has not happened. My husband was diagnosed with Azoospermia 3 years ago and since then we have had two failed IVF treatments. The doctors have said the only way for us to have children is through a donor. We are considering Artificial Insemination this December. Is it wrong for a Christian couple to use donor specimen.
    I trust God is more than able to come through for us but it’s all so confusing right now.
    Please pray with us for God to show us the right direction on what we should do

    Stay blessed

    • Cecilia,

      I will certainly pray for wisdom…There are a few schools of thought when it comes to donor anything…

      Some folks argue that the situation in Genesis 16-21 with Hagar acting as Sarah’s surrogate shows that any type of donor situation (sperm, eggs, etc) is wrong.

      I cannot see how the two are connected since there is no sexual intimacy outside of marriage between anyone involved. (However this concerned me in getting a sperm specimen from my husband because I did not want him to use pornography to be able to produce a specimen. He did not use pornography and my concern was lifted.)

      Some would argue it is better to “adopt” embryos rather than attempt a half-bio/half-donor child.

      The Bible is not clear or specific. I think it is best to pray for wisdom, ask God for direction. If He gives both you and your husband peace then do it. If He does not, then consider other options.

      And always maintain the importance of life starting at conception. IVF adds many different dimensions to conceiving…Think through them all. Pray about the donor situation…Make sure you have your legal rights covered. In other words make sure you know the donor does not want “parental rights” at all…Get it in writing…Or if you and your husband are comfortable with having the donor in the child’s life you need to decide now and get that relationship hammered out. It is unwise to step into these situations without thinking through all the possibilities…

      Pray. Trust God’s answer…Even if He says wait.

      I will pray for you too.

  13. daniellaczar says:

    Hello, I am a doctoral student at the University of Michigan researching Christian women’s experiences of infertility. I am looking for Christian women to interview and hope that you will contact me if you would like to share your story. Your identity will remain confidential. I am happy to conduct interviews over the phone if you are not in the Michigan area. You will be compensated for your time.

    Here’s the study’s Facebook page where you can find some more information:

    For more information, or to volunteer, please contact me:
    Danielle Czarnecki, PhD candidate
    Dept. of Sociology, University of Michigan
    dczar at umich dot edu

    This study has been reviewed and approved by The Health Sciences and Behavioral Sciences Institutional Review Boards (IRB-HSBS)

  14. Stephan Engel, bewildered says:

    I am a 59 year old man. I left my wife and my love and moved to Nigeria. In this country having children is important. The age of a man is not. I got seduced by a singer and dancer and was kind of forced morally into a marriage, even though my children are her age. Now it is becoming popular for these old men in oil to have offspring. I have read so much about older fathers having long DNA strands and higher incidences of schizophrenia, autism and generally not live long lives. This is coupled with the fact that I probably will not seems child grow up to be an adult. What is your experiences?

  15. Beth says:

    I am very glad of your post! I had a tubal pregnancy a few months ago, but didn’t rupture, had the shots of methotrexate (also controversial with some Christian circles. I feel at peace with God over the choice-or lackthereof.We don’t know what the future holds for my husband and I yet, but do know that one day we might need to try IVF and it’s encouraging to see your view when so many people condemn it.

  16. Ebele says:


  17. Iveren says:

    Hi,I am a nigerian and my husband and I have been married for some time now. It will be 7years in october. We’ve also been trying for children for so long and now have resolved to try IVF as soon as we put the funds together. I keep asking myself if IVF isn’t ”forcing Gods’ hand ” as we are very good christians. I feel like I can’t wait anymore as I am getting older and want very much to be a mum. And though I have been able to cope most of the time with the feelings of depression that plague me from time to time, there are months when it hurts somuch to see that I have my period coming. Please could you give me insight on the procedure and what to expect of the treatment and what to do to ensure success possibly on the first try? And also what kinda test I will have to do prior to the egg retrieval and the entire IVF process. I did some test last in 2012december. And I’m sure I may be asked to repeat them? They were so painful. Anyway I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks.

    • Iveren,

      I recommend you read some books. The ART of Making a Baby is a great start. Basically you will have tests, then your doctor will decide on a schedule of medications, ultra-sounds etc. Then a procedure to harvest eggs. And later a procedure to transfer any embryos to your womb.

      I know that is very basic, but so many schedules are different…I don’t want to give you information other than your doctor intends.

      I will pray for you.

  18. Val says:

    Let’s say a man is in desperate need of money. He tries his hardest, but he cannot obtain any sort of job. Since he can’t find a way to work for his money, he decides to rob his neighbor, whom he knows if quite wealthy. He reasons that God is in control of all things, therefore if God allows him to take the money, it is God’s will that it be done. He goes to his neighbor’s house and finds the door open wide, no one home, and thousands of dollars on the kitchen table. He concludes that God knows all things, He knows his need for money, and since God could have stopped or hindered him from doing it, but didn’t, it must mean that God approves.
    This is the same rationale you are using. Yes, God is in control, but that means that He ALLOWS us to make our own choices. He has ALLOWED you to make your choice of IVF, but that does not mean He APPROVES.
    You seem to read your Bible, as I see it quoted often. However, remember to not just go to the Bible to support your ideas. Instead, look into the original meaning and intent of the authors writing it. You may find that you have missed out on letting the Bible change your life, rather than using it to justify your own choices.

    • Val,

      I appreciate your concern that God’s Word would not be misused nor stretched to mean something God never intended. That is dangerous and unwise.

      I would love to know what part of the Bible exactly states IVF is wrong. Is there a Biblical mandate that states IVF is a sin? I searched for precepts that would logically end in IVF as a sin or not. And after I researched both IVF and the Bible I never found one.

      Your example does not fit IVF because stealing is a sin in the 10 Commandments. It would never be right to steal…If however I missed a precept that would logically make IVF wrong then I would appreciate knowing what it is…

      I pray God richly blesses you and guides you…I pray the same for myself as I grow closer to Him.

      Blessings to you.

    • Jess says:

      Matthew 22:37-40: 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

      Stealing is against these commandments because it is not a demonstration of love to your neighbour who is also a child of God.
      IVF demonstrates the desire to love another person in the same way God desired to love us when He created us. IVF is an incrediably painful experience to go through – which is why I have been trying to avoid it even though we long for another little babe to cherish – I feel it is coming to the time I need to stop avoiding.
      IVF is nothing like stealing which is outrightly not in line with Christ’s commandments which incorporates all of the laws and prophets.

      Though thank-you for your post as writing this response to you has helped me to feel more comfortable in seeking out IVF as I have been trying to rely on God to provide with thoughts in my head telling me I need more faith – perhaps these thoughts are Satan trying to tell me I’m not good enough to have more children – which is relying on my works rather than God himself!

      So your post was actually quite helpful – thanks!!!

  19. Ruthyshimona says:

    Hi Anne,

    I was diagnosed with blocked fallopian tubes and given A 1% chance of conceiving naturally. So with prayer and thought we went towards IVF. It was a very emotional time, to say the least, you know 🙂 Praise the Lord most high we had health twin boys 7 and half pound each 🙂 I know I am richly blessed, but because we were so emotional at the time we never considered the implications of having IVF, i.e. we harvested 24 eggs, 19 fertilized we used 2 and 2 never survived the thawing process. I feel really convicted as I have been part of creating 15 lives that I may not have the time (I am already 32years old) and finances to give the opportunity to grown and develop and live their lives. Thank you for reading this and for being so open about your story.

    Lord bless you and your family
    Ruth 🙂

    • Ruth,

      I will be praying that God gives you the opportunity and finances to take care of those precious 15 lives…Or that He may open the door so you can adopt out your embryos. I will pray for wisdom and guidance for you and your husband.

      And congratulations on your precious babies.

  20. Maureen says:

    Awesome God that truly knows and sees the heart of all men.
    Angela God has truly given you such a kind heart and patience to answer comments from people that are ignorant of the real situation of being ” infertile” !
    If every woman that has gone through infertility says the truth, it will be an amazing eye- opener for every backlasher.
    I have been there, 4 years no conception and dh diagnosed with azoospermia.
    When we got married, we wanted four children and two adopted ones but it just didn’t happen for us that way. Only after three months did I begin to wonder why I was pregnant nd immediately went to a specialist…nothing was seen, then after one year with both dh nd I in the investigation azoospermia came to light.
    I read about Cecilia’s predicament and it brought me tears of how miraculous God can be! I “was” in that same situation when God told me clearly in the dream to go ahead and he pronounced ……Grace, Favour, Peace to me in that revelation and I woke up!
    We went ahead for ivf with icsi and to only God be all the glory am preggers with triplets at my very first try !!
    Angela keeping doing what God has touched you to do, there will always be haters and people that are very wise that their wisdom becomes foolishness at last!

  21. tonya says:

    Dear angela, my husband and I decided 10 years ago that he would get a vesectomy after the birth of our second child, thinking at that time in our life it was the right thing to do, due to financial complications and the hardships that can come and go with job losses. We instantly realized on the way home from the hospital that we regretted the surgery but knew it was too late. So for 10 years we morned the “loss ” of future children we could never have and i prayed and prayed that his vesectomy would fail like some men’s do but it never did. We were never able to save up enough money for some options like sperm aspiration or vesectomy reversal so we just went on with life still feeling blessed and never missed out on seeing our 2 babies grow to be the ages 11 and 16 now but God paved a road we never saw coming. An aunt of mine left a small amount of money to my family when she passed last year and we paid off some debt we had. And that also left some money for my husbands vesectomy reversal that he got july 21, 2013. I had never felt so blessed. Its like I almost felt gods actual hands touching my life I cried for weeks on end after my husbands surgery because without unconditional love of god and my aunt then it wouldn’t have been a possibilty for us. We are almost a year out from surgery and we still have not got a pregnancy yet but I pray all the time and my whole family prays to see us with one of gods blessings but the doctors claim since my husband had his surgery for 10 years he has developed antisperm antibodies because for so many years my husband didn’t have an exit during ejaculation so his body killed off the sperm as they were produced. Now the doctors are saying we cannot concieve naturally which has devistated us and is very dishearting but we have given it all to god for we know he is able to work around any obstacle and is not limited by things like this. We still continue to have faith and believe somehow, someway he will bless us with another blessing. We made a terrible mistake 10 years ago and have prayed for foregivness for ending our own fertility instead of leaving it up to god and I was just hoping you would pray for us to get pregnant. I know I want to be pregnant so bad and I know I want everything now but I know it is all on gods timeline and not mine but I pray there is another blessing planned for us and we need all the prayers we can get for our little vesectomy reversal miracle to happen. Thank you for taking the time to read..god bless you all with your infertility journeys.

    • Tonya,

      I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I will pray for a miracle, we know God is able…I will also pray that you no longer feel condemnation for a decision you have asked God to forgive you for. Remember Romans 8:1 tells us there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

  22. Ikea says:

    Hi Angela,

    My husband and I are currently undergoing the IVF process and find myself convicted as to whether or not we are doing the right thing. I always prayed God would grant us a child the natural way. I suffer from blocked fallopian tubes and ever since being diagnosed and knowing this is why we are unable to conceive has been a great burden. I am emotionally beat down and have no one to talk to regarding how I feel. I don’t know how to tell my husband or my family how I am feeling. I don’t understand why God would put me through this when he know having a child is thw greatest desire of my heart. I am so hurt and just need encouragement.

    • Ikea,

      I am so sorry you are here in the darkest part of this journey. God does not always give us the desires of our hearts. He may never fulfill those desires, even though He is able. When that is the case we have to trust His ways are far better than our ways. I cannot say I love this infertility journey at all, but what I can say is that I know God in a deeper richer way than I would have without it.

      Remember that God is close to the broken hearted, that He is the God of all comfort, that He has good plans for you even when they don’t look good this side of heaven.

      Please continue to cry out to God and wrestle with Him. It is in the wrestling that God will bless you…Check out the Wrestling with God series from a few years back, it might help…Here is a link to it:

      I pray these words will comfort you and encourage you as you walk this infertility journey.

  23. Laura says:

    I just started on my IVF journey today. I have been feeling so down struggling with a lot of questions with God and even if he would want me to do this. My husband was diagnosed infertile this year after lots of trying and it has been so hard. Your blog is wonderful and has brought me hope today! It has made me feel that I am not alone.
    Thank You,

  24. amanda nelson says:

    Angela, iam thanking Jesus for your blog right now and your testimony. I was researching christians views on ivf and needed encouragement. Me and my husband have been recently told we will have to do ivf. I was told i have tubal factory infertility. My tubes are not the normal size. Iam at a very high risk for an ectopic pregnancy he said. That was scary to hear;( We however got pregnant last january but miscarried. We spent over this last year and more trying and trusting the Lord for his will and plan for our life. We went through test after tests. Nothing they could find until we had our first appt with a fertility specialist. He knew right away and said we would have to go right to ivf. We were overwhlemed and not sure what to do as christians we didnt no what the right thig to do was if its a sin or not. We have talked to otbers as in our pastors and they gave us alot of insight andencouragement. Im thanking to find this blog it has encouraged me. I would love to chat more with you and ask you for prayers as we continue with our journey tryig to have kids. No one knows this pain unless u have gone through it. I have been hurt many people telling there opinions and they have never been through it. So thank you for ministering to me. Thankful.

    Mandy nelson

  25. Amanda says:

    Hi–has anyone heard of or considered Napro TECHNOLOGY as an option for infertility treatment. I am in the same boat as many of you here with questioning if IVF is an appropriate option/choice in God’s eyes for my husband and I . Please let me know. My husband and I are supposed to start the IVF process next month (July). Thanks so much! God bless you all in your journey.

    • Amanda,

      I have read up on NaPro Technology in the past, but did a quick search again…It seeks to find a reason behind the “unexplained infertility” and fix it either surgically or medically (hormones etc)…It seems to be just as effect (over two years) as IVF is over one year…However you don’t have the moral/spiritual issues with NaPro that you have with IVF. Below is an excerpt from some research about NaPro and at the bottom is a link to the full article. I pray God’s blessings, direction, and peace for you and your husband….

      This study demonstrates that NPT is an effective integrated system of infertility treatment that can be done by interested and appropriately trained generalist physicians. The cumulative crude pregnancy rates, withdrawal rates, and adjusted pregnancy rates are similar to cohort studies of ART based on the limited comparable data that are available. The treatment program is minimally invasive, with fewer multiple pregnancies. However, it is not an option for couples with azoospermia, ovarian failure, or bilateral fallopian tube occlusion. The probability of live birth with NPT treatment is, as expected, lower for women over age 35, couples who have spent more than 6 years trying to conceive, couples without previous births, and couples who have previously attempted ART; these are risk factors that are also associated with lower live birth rates with other types of fertility treatments.44 The most significant risk factor for decreased live birth with ART is increased maternal age.35 Couples choosing NPT need to clearly understand that, although 75% couples that have a live birth with NPT conceive within 12 months (93% within 18 months), it may take up to 24 months for a full treatment course. For women who are approaching the end of their reproductive years, the time frame of up to 2 years required for NPT treatment may be a significant disadvantage of NPT.

  26. Amanda says:

    Hi Angela–thanks so much for your quick response and for sending me the info on Napro. The time factor is a big disadvantage for me as I am 41, about to turn 42. My husband and I do not have any children yet–we both deeply desire to have at least one child. I got pregnant this past December on our first try with insemination. We were absolutely thrilled. We even heard the baby’s heartbeat at the first ultrasound; however at the next ultrsound, 13 days later, there was no heartbeat. WE WERE DEVASTATED!! I had a D & E done a few days later–another gut wrenching evident. We had the tissue sent for testing to see what caused the miscarriage and found out it was a chromosomal abnormality; there were 3 chromosomes in spot 14, which per the doctor is incompatible with life. Because of my age and knowing we have had 1 miscariage due to a chromosomal abnormality, my doctor has said IVF with PGS (pre-genetic screening) is a good option for us. I am just torn about the moral and religious questions/issues that come with IVF. I don’t want to be making a mistake by trying to play God and creating a life outside of His intended natural way. Plus, are we disregarding the sanctity of life by having the embryo form and live in a petri dish for days before being transferred back into the uterus? And the idea of keeping an embryo in a frozen state doesn’t sit well w/ me either–its better than destroying the embryo and killing it, which I NEVER want to do. I do not want any viable embryo(baby) to not be given the chance to live. Any feedback or direction in regards to these concerns would be so greatly appreciated. Also, can you tell me more about the discussion you had with your doctor regarding the number of eggs to harvest and fertilize and then the number of embryos to transfer back into your uterus? For me, this is a key consideration. Thank you so much Angela for having this site. I think it will really help me to be able to share my concerns and questions, and discuss them with other women in a similar situation. Be blessed today and always! I hope you are doing ok with your journey through all this as well.

    • Amanda,

      You have brought up some excellent questions. I will try to briefly explain my thoughts and the process we went through. Remember I am not the final authority. So you and your husband need to prayerfully make these decisions together. I know you know that, but I wanted to mention it… 🙂

      1. God is still in control of all that happens with IVF. I had 9 healthy embryos that could be transferred, but only 2 survived to make it in my arms…Only God knows which embryos will survive and which will not.

      2. PGS. That is a very very tough call. My husband and I were not in your situation but we did not want to try it for two reasons. First (this may have changed in the last 9 years) in order to do PGS you have to remove one cell from an embryo that may only be 5-6 cells. I personally had a theoretical concern about harming the baby by removing one cell. Secondly since I believe that life happens at conception regardless of the screening results I would have to transfer the embryo (unless it died prior to being “old” enough to transfer).

      I was shocked to discover the loss I felt over embryos that did not survive to the point of being able to be transferred and the ones that did not implant once they were transferred. It was similar to having 19 miscarriages in about 2 years. VERY emotional.

      3. I too was concerned about how many eggs were harvested and how many embryos were created. My doctor said most couples do not end up with enough embryos and suggested I do not reduce the dose of stimulating hormones. They estimated I would only have 12 eggs harvested, but they harvested 23. Now some docs are able to freeze eggs rather than embryos. You may want to ask if that is an option with your MD.

      4. The research with IVF suggests the best day to transfer embryos is day 5. Meaning if the embryo grows looking healthy outside the womb for 5 days it has a higher likelihood of resulting in pregnancy. Some women have fewer embryos or they do not look super healthy and so some docs have had success transferring embryos at day 3 and some even earlier. Ideally conception would occur inside a woman, but when that is impossible the next best thing is to keep them safe outside of the womb. I think of it as the second best place for a baby to be.

      5. Freezing embryos also comes with risks, but again it is the safest place to for those babies to be until we can take them home in our wombs.

      I hope I helped. Let me know if you have other questions I missed.

  27. Marcella says:

    Hi Angela,

    It was such a blessed for me to find your blog.. I just went thru my first ivf cycle and 2ww was hard for me but end up negative 2 days ago. We will be doing our second cycle this october , praying and wishing everything is good. God is great. By the way, we adopt a baby 2 years ago and he was a blessed for both me and hubby. Thank you Angela. God Blessed!

  28. Shannon says:

    Hi Angela,

    I just wanted to thank you for your blog. I just very recently found out that I have endometriosis very badly which makes my chances of getting pregnant without hope about as close to zero as they can when you still have all your reproductive organs. My doctor said that IVF would be the way to go when I was ready and I was heartbroken because I’d thought that IVF would mean killing already fertilized embryos which I fully believe would be murdering my baby(ies). Reading how you ended up using each and every one of your fertilized eggs, even though many ended up not going to term, was probably the best thing I could have heard because I have wanted to have kids as long as I can remember and if I couldn’t morally do IVF, chances are that that would never happen for me. It gives me hope that all is not lost because even though I want to adopt children, it isn’t the same as being able to be pregnant yourself and I would be so sad if I could never have that, even if I need some help from doctors.

    Thank you so much,

  29. Macy says:

    I just found your blog and I wanted to tell you that it has been such a blessing! My husband and I are only in our early 20’s but are unable to conceive naturally. Our best course of action now is IVF. I am in the midst of doing so much research right now. Scientific and spiritual. I would love to hear any insights you have in to this. I have so many questions and no one to answer them. If you have the time, I’d love to speak with you. 🙂

    Here is a link to my blog:
    It has a lot of day to day in it but there are several posts about our infertility.

    Thank you for being a voice!

  30. Thanks for sharing your journey too, Angela.

    There are a lot of us out there walking through this infertility wilderness and one of the most important aspects in it all is to know that we’re not alone. My wife and I have seen God turn our story into something quite unexpected – a book and a film project that is helping many start again after their own broken dream ( – but that doesn’t mean there aren’t days when it’s difficult.

    God bless as you walk forward and share the journey with others.

  31. Nanad says:

    Hi Angie,

    Finding this blog is a big breakthrough for me today. About six months after we got married we discovered from tests results that my husband had azoospermia

  32. Britney says:

    Hi I am glad to have some Christian support with IVF. It infuriates me that places pay for peoples abortions but no one will pay for married couples to conceive. Im so sad I love the Lord and wanted nothing but to enjoy the miracle of making a baby.. but unfortunately it will be very scientific and less spiritual. I agree God will have the process in his hands and if its not meant to work its not meant to work. I struggle with the thought of left over embryos.. I also struggle with whether to implant one or two. Do you know any way I can connect with christian couples interested in embryo adoption? I would feel pleasure to give the blessing of life to another christian family trying to conceive.

  33. Jenni says:

    Thank you for this blog. I’ve been so
    Sad…my husband and I just found out 2 days ago 3rd IVF cycle failed..I’m without children. I know and feel in my heart I’m suppose to have children with my husband and Ive been praying for guidance. I was a teacher and been Godmother to many children…I feel in my soul I’m suppose to have children.. I don’t understand why hasn’t this happened…GOD knows my heart. What else I’m I suppose to do? I feel lost and confused and hurt and defeated…my husband is torn up just as much as me-maybe worse. I try to think GOD has a plan and sometimes it’s not on our timeline however the journey is hard and I’m not sure if I should just stop IVF or keep trying..I will continue to pray. Any encouragement is appreciated. Thank you.

    • Jenni,

      I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry. Here is my prayer for you:

      Father God please surround Jenni right now with your love, comfort, grace, and peace. In the midst of her hurt and pain and grief fill her with Your joy and peace. Help her to trust Your ways even though she cannot understand them. Give her a heart that longs for You more than for motherhood. And as she longs for You fill her with Your grace, peace, joy, love, and contentment. Father give Jenni and her husband wisdom about what to do now. Help them to draw closer to You and to each other through this difficult time. Father You are able to do all things and I pray you will give Jenni and her husband a child. But I know Your ways are not our ways and so I pray that Jenni and her husband will glorify You with their lives no matter what. Guide and direct each of their steps and help them to trust You no matter the outcome. In the powerful, wonderful, amazing name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

  34. Jenni says:

    Thank you with love and gratitude.

  35. Suzan says:

    Hi Angela. I am glad that you are looking to God for guidance through His word. It shows that you are open to His leading. I do believe that IVF and artificial insemination are against the Ten Commandments. Here are the reasons for why I believe this, and I hope that maybe it will shed some light on your understanding of it little better.

    I do believe that the story of Abraham and Sarah is valid because although they used surrogacy instead of IVF (because it wasn’t available in their time), it still leads to unnatural means for obtaining a child. If Sarah had IVF available in her day, she would have probably done that instead because it would be her own genes forming her own son, which she would have much preferred over Abraham having a son with no relation to her genetic coding. I’m sure that God would have nevertheless have said to wait for Him to perform His miracle and preferred Sarah and Abraham to have their own child naturally nevertheless.
    Secondly, with this same story, I do believe it violates the Ten Commandments because in having IVF, the doctor would need to make an abortion, since the eggs implanted into ones uterus would be too many, and some would have to die if the woman didn’t want that many children. Of course, this all depends on whether or not you see the zygote as a human as soon as its fertilized, which I do believe, and I hope you will also have the same belief as me that it is human. If so, then you would understand that this does break the Commandment that says Thou shalt not kill.

    This is not the only story in the Bible that proves nothing is impossible for God and that we should wait for Him instead of searching for artificial human means. And usually, in the Bible, when an example is provided many times, it shows that God is strong on that subject, especially when it leads to the same conclusion.

    In the Book of Samuel, Hannah and Penninah were married to Elkanah. Penninah had children but Hannah didn’t. She was teased by the other wife Penninah and other people because her womb was closed so to speak. God used this to His advantage to demonstrate His power and glory and prove that nothing is impossible for Him. She prayed in the temple and said to God that if He gave her a child, she would consecrate Him to the temple. God heard her and gave her a son, named Samuel, who became the next great prophet of their day. If we looked at the greater scheme of things, this story wasn’t about some infertile woman, but God’s salvation plan was playing behind the scenes and things were meant to happen this way for the Messiah Jesus to actually come into the world. In other words, if we mess around with God’s plan by looking for artificial human means, we are doubting God’s power to give us a child. If you truly believed that God was able to give Hannah a child and even more so Sarah who was well past menopause, then you would not be struggling so much in your heart about these things and would have waited on the Lord. But something tells me you don’t truly believe that God gave Sarah a son at 90 years old, or maybe you want to believe but you don’t have enough faith. What ever the case may be, if a person truly believes in the Bible and truly trusts in God, they will really reap the blessings and promises in his word and not look to human means which seem so tempting, to have a child.

    Mentioning before about Jesus the Messiah, Mary herself was another example of God’s capability of blessing one with a child and not able to have intercourse. The last two examples involved intercourse, but God is so great that he can put a child into a woman without a woman even knowing a man. If you truly believe in Jesus, then you would truly believe in the virgin birth. And if you really think that Mary got pregnant without the aid of Joseph her husband, then you should not be struggling with waiting on God to provide you with a baby.

    Here is another example, if these three cases weren’t enough. Elizabeth, Mary’s cousin, was barren, and was teased for not having children. She was at her old age and didn’t believe, like you, that God was going to provide her with any child. However, miraculously, God sent the angel Gabriel to Zacharias while he was in the Temple, to tell him rejoice he will have a son and his name will be called John (who became John the Baptist). Like Jesus would say, I will also ask you, Do you believe these things? Do you truly believe? Because if you do, you would know that unnatural birth is an insult to God’s capability of providing you with a child. If God wanted to, he can provide you with a child right now, nothing is stopping him. Instead you should pray about what it is that God wants you to do for Him. He could have a special plan for you like these women in the past which you fail to realize.

    I’m taking a bioethics class and we discuss topics like euthanasia, abortion, in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, surrogacy, designer babies, baby farming, genetic manipulation, and so on. I wish you knew what i knew in this topic, because all the cases we study have to deal with malpractice, ethical and moral standards and issues, the health of the baby, disorders that come about from IVF, adopting a child–which I believe is the better option, and so on.

    If you think IVF is wrong, then you have not really thought of the consequences of it thoroughly. Children have a high risk of birth defects and it doesn’t always work. Some people have to go through the IVF process several times before they can get impregnated. Think of all the babies that were aborted. If that’s not enough, each time one does IVF it costs you about 12,000 dollars, and like I said before, the success rate it very low, and gets even lower as you age. It’s a waste of money and you’d be better off adopting. Thank you for listening.

    • Suzan,

      I appreciate your concerns for those using fertility treatments. However I do not agree with your statements.

      First Abraham and Sarah were promised a child and they got tired of waiting. So they committed adultery in order to force God’s promise to happen on their terms. Women using fertility treatments have not received a promise that they will have any children. They are not committing adultery. They are still trusting God to bring them a child.

      There are many issues surround IVF that a woman who loves God must think about, talk to their doctor about, discuss with their spouse, etc. However IVF can be done in a God honoring, life honoring way. I told my doctor I believed life happens at conception and thus I would use every embryo created, would not allow “selective reduction” (abortions to keep women from carrying high order multiple pregnancies), etc. couples must decide how much they can afford to spend on procedures which may not work.

      I am quite fascinated about your claim of birth defects related to IVF. Could you show me statistics?i have yet to find any that show IVF babies have a higher rate of disabilities or defects.

      Finally I doubt you would counsel a cancer patient to just pray and have faith and God will cure you. I am pretty sure you would encourage that cancer patient to take chemotherapy. Infertility treatments must be entered into with prudence and wisdom, but they are not a sign of lack of faith.

  36. Just a thought says:

    Thanks for sharing your story Angela. I have asked questions about ivf and icsi in the past. Some Christians have raised a valid point that we wouldn’t tell a terminally patient not to receive treatment if it could extend their life and just accept God’s will. We wouldn’t refuse general medication for an every day illness.
    I appreciate that you have researched and offered objective information to others in order for them to make an informed decision. The fact that a life/embryo is not being terminated or created without God’s intervention ie a pregnancy is not guaranteed is enough to prove that like any other process you can receive medical assistance but only God holds life death and judgement in his hands.
    Defects exist in both natural and assisted conception. It is possible that the defects because of the fertility issues and not the treatment. I hope that those who say a child would have a defect would not also suggest that a child born with a disability should not be alive.

    • Yes and God often uses humans to partner with Him in His miracles. He uses doctors and nurses n the health field. He used Noah to build an ark. He used Elijah to pray and pour water. Thank you for this reminder.

  37. melissa says:

    Angela, thank for hosting this vital discussion. My husband and I have struggled with infertility over the last 3 years. In the begining I found myself aligning more with previous comments on the wholesale ridgitity against IVF. I prayed desperatley that I would not be in a position to make this decision. Unfortunatley my fourth and last iui has failed, my first ended in a blighted ovum, and I now find myself at the crossroad of IVF, adoption, or acquiesce nce. Honest investigation has proven that not all IVF attempts result in the elimination of viable life or selective reduction as implied by Suzan above. And I do believe that God gives some couples the heart for adoption and not others and in many ways adoption can be more expensive and difficult than fertility treatments. I have spoken with many people who have adopted and it can upwards of 50,000 dollars. I pray that those who try to push others towards adoption recognize that it is not a viable/practical solution for everyone. My heart aches over the number of condemning callous people commenting (even here) on an infertile couples struggles. The Lord says the barren womb is never satisfied and only God and infertile women (couples) are able to grasp the truth of these words. I will go foward praying that God will guide all myself and all couples who face this challenge yet earnestly seek his way above our own.

    • Melissa,

      I pray for God’s peace, wisdom. Guidance, and comfort to surround you and your husband. Even when God seems far He is near to the broken-hearted. May you experience His nearness in new ways as you continue your journey.

  38. Suzan says:

    Hi, sorry I sounded callous or condemning. I didnt notice that, nor did i mean to. I hope that you found the scriptural references helpful. And I pray that God will show you His will. I know its not everyone’s will to adopt, I was just throwing that out there as a suggestion. I just wish for everyone to be careful about any decisions they’ll be making and may God bless all of you and lead you in the right direction 🙂

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