I have blogged about my infertility journey and if you want the long story here are the links to those posts:
You are not alone
My Journey with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
Then There were 28
What Happened to the Nine?
The Final Three
The short story is this:
I had one child naturally. Then when trying to conceive (TTC) our second child, I had two different tubal pregnancies, one in each tube, and both tubes ruptured. So in about six months, I lost my ability to conceive naturally. My husband and I prayed and decided in-vitro fertilization (IVF) was the way God was leading us to expand our family. Through that process we had two more children. However I still long for more children. Against my will, God has called me to write about my journey and encourage others walking the same path with me. I’d love to learn more about your journey. Drop me a comment!
The question can a Christian use IVF is a long and winding road. I would never wish IVF on my worst enemy, but I have two wonderful children through the process. The process is fraught with spiritual, moral, ethical, and financial issues. The medications and procedures themselves are physically and emotionally draining. God must be your guide and His Word your compass. There is no one-size fits all answer, but IVF can be done in a life honoring, God glorifying way.
Is IVF right for you?
1. Pray for wisdom and guidance.
2. Make sure both you and your husband are on the same page.
3. Think through contingencies. . . What if one or both of us dies and we have embryos in the freezer? Are we prepared for the financial burden of paying for IVF and embryo storage fees?
4. Decide on a budget and stick to it. Remember you have to feed and clothe children, if you go into debt to have children you may not be able to financially care for them.
5. Consider the physical and emotional toll IVF takes on your or your wife’s body.
I have three articles that address some of these issues on ezinearticles.com. Check them out here:
Infertility Treatments and God
Infertility Encouragement – Comparison is Not Your Friend
In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) – 10 Things I Didn’t Know Until it Was Too Late
I am praying for you as you consider if IVF is the direction God is leading you.
Blessings,
Angela
Hi Angela,
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for two years now. In the past year we’ve tried fertility drugs and three IUIs with no success. We’ve both gone through a litany of tests and were eventually diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility. At the suggestion of my OBGYN, we recently visited the Tulsa Infertility Clinic to try and determine what our options are.
A few months ago my hormone levels were tested and along with that they tested my Vitamin D and Ferritin. When my Ferritin level came back elevated, we were shocked. To make a long story short, in December 2010 I was diagnosed with Hemochromatosis.
So after many blood tests, CAT Scans and an echocardiogram, my first appointment with Dr. Mackey was today. It almost seemed like fate that God put him in my path. When I explained how I happened upon my Hemochromatosis diagnosis, he immediately shared your story of infertility.
I explained that we’ve read about IVF, but we’ve never had the opportunity to discuss it with someone who has been in our shoes. He told me about your blog and the book you’re writing and advised me to contact you.
My husband and I are still hoping that we will conceive naturally in the next few months, but if not we are going to try IVF.
Would you mind sharing your insight and maybe something you would do differently if you had it to do over again?
Thank you for listening.
Sincerely,
C. Anne Campbell
Oh Anne,
I am praying for you and would love to give you any insight I can. I sent you a private e-mail as well. I hope you got it. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.
hi Angela
I m a sri Lankan .I m trying for babies last one and half years.i having more dosage daily.but we not get good news yet. sometimes i think i couldn’t have a babies.i m nervous about this infertility matter
Please pray for me.
Thank you
Praying for you!
thank you
Did you know that IVF “disposes” of several fertilized zygotes in the process? Several are implanted and several die. I am guessing you profess to be pro-life, but if you have received in-vitro, then you have created the equivalent of several abortions. I am sorry if this distresses you- this is not intended to make you feel bad. Just to let you see the sheer hypocrisy of the church at large, and the dishonesty of doctors who don’t tell you everything just so they can make a buck.
You are happy your children are here, I get that. But please don’t lie to yourself with gappy info others give. Or withhold.
If you plumbing doesn’t work anymore, maybe you should take that as a sign that “God” does not intend for you to make more new humans? It’s not about you. It’s about the kids. There is a world full of kids who could use the attentions of a nice lady like you (sans the religious hogwash). Each fewer child you are DETERMINED to pump out regardless of signs that you might shouldn’t means a little more time for your life’s work. Yes, raising children is life’s work. But there is more than that to do in this world. We really don’t have any place “kicking back and raising a fam” with the Zionists still over our banking system. The rabbit hole is deep. Let’s work together in addition to just trying to outbreed the non-religious. It won’t happen.
I hope your tubes do not cause you pain.
Fellow KBC-er:
1. I think you have some misunderstandings about IVF. None of my babies (zygotes) were destroyed. The doctors harvested 28 eggs and 21 fertilized. At that point I had 21 zygotes or babies. However 12 of those babies died (the zygotes stopped dividing or growing). I had 9 babies left. All 9 babies were transferred into my womb in four different transfers. Only 2 of those 9 babies survived to be a full-grown baby I could hold in my arms. At no time were babies destroyed. Trust me I asked questions, considered all the dangers, and prayed hard about the decision to use IVF.
2. Just because God led my husband and I to IVF does not mean IVF is for everyone. 1 Corinthians 10:29b says, “For why should my freedom be judged by another’s conscience?” However if someone’s conscience pricks and they feel led by God not to do IVF then they need to not do IVF and for them it is sin. Romans 14:23b says “everything that does not come from faith is sin.”
3. God is still in control of the IVF process. He knows which zygotes (or babies) will survive to be held in their mother’s arms. He is still God over the process. I can’t determine to “pump out” children because only God gives me children whether they are conceived in a petri dish or in my body. He is still God over it all.
4. I have no desire to “out-breed” anyone. My only desire is to honor God and prayerfully walk in humble obedience to Him all the days of my life – wherever God leads.
5. My tube issues periodically cause pain, but most often they do not limit my functionality. Thanks for asking.
Fellow KBC-er, I pray that we can offer each other grace and freedom to live out our relationship with God.
Fellow KBC-er:
1. I think you have some misunderstandings about IVF. None of my
babies (zygotes) were destroyed. The doctors harvested 28 eggs and 21
fertilized. At that point I had 21 zygotes or babies. However 12 of
those babies died (the zygotes stopped dividing or growing). I had 9
babies left. All 9 babies were transferred into my womb in four
different transfers. Only 2 of those 9 babies survived to be a
full-grown baby I could hold in my arms. At no time were babies
destroyed. Trust me I asked questions, considered all the dangers, and
prayed hard about the decision to use IVF.
2. Just because God led my husband and I to IVF does not mean IVF is
for everyone. 1 Corinthians 10:29b says, “For why should my freedom be
judged by another’s conscience?” However if someone’s conscience pricks
and they feel led by God not to do IVF then they need to not do IVF and
for them it is sin. Romans 14:23b says “everything that does not come
from faith is sin.”
3. God is still in control of the IVF process. He knows which zygotes
(or babies) will survive to be held in their mother’s arms. He is still
God over the process. I can’t determine to “pump out” children because
only God gives me children whether they are conceived in a petri dish or
in my body. He is still God over it all.
4. I have no desire to “out-breed” anyone. My only desire is to honor
God and prayerfully walk in humble obedience to Him all the days of my
life – wherever God leads.
5. My tube issues periodically cause pain, but most often they do not limit my functionality. Thanks for asking.
Fellow KBC-er, I pray that we can offer each other grace and freedom to live out our relationship with God.
WOW! Just WOW!! Some very harsh words from someone who has obviously not been well educated on this topic.
I can only imagine how the words you have shared with Angela would have stung to the core. It really takes my breath away. Even though I personally have never gone through any of the feelings or situations that Angela has, I have a great deal of empathy for her. It is just shocking that you would take someone’s sorrow and so flippantly thrust the knife, so to speak. While we all have the freedom to say what we want in this country, it is of the utmost importance to be respectful and loving to those around us, in soul wrenching situations such as this.
Take II:
I probably have some of the same concerns regarding IVF that my fellow KBCer has. I don’t think, however, that I could be so abrupt in expressing them. My wife and I have never dealt with infertility ourselves, but have walked through some dark times with some dear friends. I have to admit, that I’m interested in KBCer’s history in this area, though knowing that doesn’t really change anything.
I haven’t read all of your blog, Angela, but I’d love to hear about how adoption was or was not a part of your decision-making process. I find myself interested in adoption as a means for growing my family, even without infertility issues.
Matt,
I always thought adoption was the way I would go. In fact my husband and I discussed adoption before we experienced infertility. I jumped onto the department of human services website to look at kids needing adoption early on, but my husband was not ready to look into adoption.
He is the spiritual leader in our home. So I started researching IVF. I prayed…I had concerns about the sanctity of life and IVF, but my research assuaged my concerns. As we prayed and walked the road God opened the door to IVF.
The rest is history. I still pray adoption may be in our future, but I trust God’s will and direction for our family no matter where He brings us.
Hi! Just found your blog… will look around. God bless. Maria -London, England. (http://womaninlondon.wordpress.com)