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“Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?” Psalm 15:1 My heart echoes the cry of the psalmist. How do I get close to God? How do I develop a deep and abiding relationship? Can I move-in with God? What must I do so I can dwell with…
The word God gave me this year is discipline… I am flat out bad at it. I feel constrained by schedules and when I don't accomplish tasks on the days I plan I chastise myself. But then I don't plan my time and so I have a stack of things that need mended or a…
In case you didn't know, last week I spoke at The M.O.M. Initiative's Better Together Conference. Here are some pictures of the conference. I flew on a plane to Jacksonville, Florida and met with 22 authors and speakers who shared break-out sessions and keynotes to several hundred women. It was a sweet time of…
A salesperson bounced toward me as I lifted my two-year-old into a navy-blue shopping cart. “She is so cute. Can I have her?” she teased as the blood drained from my face. I turned toward my precious girl, throat tightening, “No.” I shook my head. “Why not? You can just have more,” her words pierced…
Yesterday was the first day of the Lenten season. I did not grow up observing Lent, but as I began to read about this season the more I felt drawn to it. 46 days including Sundays and Maudy Thursday, Good Friday, and the day before Easter. Yes 46 days to focus on Christ…to begin in…
Nehemiah 8:10 says, “…Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” And grief it is natural to this sinful world. It oozes into the beautiful moments of life… When someone near us should be there, but isn't. When what is reminds us of a should have been. And the ache threatens…
I never imagined being here — in seminary, homeschooling, blogging, choir, and maybe more. I didn't really ask for this life…I just followed the path God laid before me and here I am… It doesn't make sense. I never would have started seminary if I knew I'd be homeschooling… Blogging and writing and speaking and…
Today we are to remember. Remember the price of freedom and those who died so we could be free. Today we remember freedom isn't free. It is hard fought. We think of the hundreds of thousands of souls who stood and died to protect our nation. Those who fought so we could be independent. Those…
Rain. It fell sporadically throughout the morning. The clouds hid the rising sun and it fit. This morning wasn't going to bring the hope of a new day. It was the day my fears would be confirmed. The day my doctor drew blood. The test would say what the home test told me…
Father God thank You for being Holy – completely different than me. I praise You for Your goodness and mercy. Thank You for grace unimaginable. Oh my God You are so patient with me. Thank You for making a wretch like me Your treasure. Thank You for Jesus who died so I could live. Forgive…
“Unstable snow,” my friend and expert snow-shoer hollered over her shoulder. I grinned as the snow sunk an inch under the weight of my next step. I began to take baby steps to prevent myself from doing the splits should the snow truly give-way. The snow glittered in the sunlight as a mountain in the…
Oh to be grounded in God. On my knees. On what I allow my mind to dwell. In where I fix my eyes. In the paths I walk. As I die to me and live to Him. There is freedom. Freedom from doubt, condemnation, fear. And freedom feels wildly out of control. Yet God…
“I love you. You are my child,” I insisted. “But why? I am a pain,” my child asserted. “You are young and it is my job to train you so you will love God and be a wise adult,” I replied. “Sometimes you say and do things that hurt my feelings. Sometimes I get…
“I thought fried meant crispy,” my partner in giving up fried foods for lent wrote in a text. Visions of chips, fried chicken, and french fries swirled through my head. My heart twisted inside me. I want to do this first Lent season right. I am giving up something for forty days so I can…
I have always loved singing praises to God and songs, well, I can figure them out pretty quickly. So before I could read I would sing praises to Jesus with gusto. One Sunday morning I sat in a blue plastic chair next to my parents and siblings. The white tile floor of the community center…
“I will never. . .” “I don't understand why anyone would. . .” I have eaten more than my share of words. I think God enjoys it when I realize the irony. I wasn't going to marry a doctor or work with fifth and sixth graders or consider fertility treatments. I was also going…
Every moment is pregnant with possibility, but most moments slip away the possibility missed. It happens when I focus on what isn't right, when an interruption annoys. The moment slips away I miss the opportunity to enjoy God, to thank Him for breath and life, for words lisped from little mouths that grow so fast….
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5 Father God I need wisdom. I am a messy broken child who thinks too well of her intellect. Forgive me for relying on myself. Help me not…
My plans to get ahead with blogging so I could enjoy my parents as they visited didn't really happen. So yesterday although I attempted to get a post out, I just didn't get it done. UGH! But I did enjoy getting to spend great time with my kiddos and parents. God has richly blessed me…
Father God thank You for the USA. Thank You for Your grace and mercy on our country. We are not perfect, we have made many mistakes and continue to make mistakes. Oh God I lift our government up to You. There is corruption and we are far from our founding principles. I cannot see a…
I've been quiet lately. Not writing much, fighting a cold, and praying for direction. The kind of direction that could mean difficult decisions. What would God have me do? Right now He says wait, but waiting is difficult for me. Waiting means I can't plan. I like to see life stretching out before me, but…
Today I pray for you, our nation, and our world. And I have I post at the MOM initiative today…It's titled Cold Coffee…Click here to check it out. Father God be with each person reading this blog right now. Help them to know You are near. Fill them with your peace. Comfort them if they…
I ruined Christmas and it was only breakfast. I flung careless words that scraped and bruised. Defeat shone in my husband's eyes. I stained and marked a day that was supposed to be fun and joyous with anger and frustration. I asked my husband to forgive my careless words. He forgave, but the hurt lingered….
My head pounded and all I wanted to do was lay down in a dark room for a few hours. Still it was 8:30 AM and I had to take my van for an oil change and repair a sensor. So I found the darkest place to sit in the car dealership {the kind with…
A swirling black vortex of emotions spun around me. Tears stung my eyes as my mind rehearsed old hurts, and searched through newer ones. Life is good, I reminded myself. Why am I so down? In the grand scheme of things I am fine. So why this? A yawning pit of despair beckoned me to…
“Happy twelfth anniversary,” I smiled that goofy love-struck smile at my husband and kissed him. “Happy anniversary to you,” he smiled back. Our day had just begun and our plans were simple. Hang out with my brother and parents until we left to drive six-hours home. Not particularly romantic, but we planned a date later…
I am so excited to introduce you to my friend and M.O.M. Initative mom Cheri Gregory. Her post will challenge and encourage you. I can’t wait to see their smiles. I imagine the 3-year-old opening her gift and hugging it close. The 7-year-old holding hers up and twirling around with it. Their smiles are the…
Father God we thank You for the USA. We thank you for the success and prosperity we have enjoyed. We thank You that You are sovereign over all the affairs of men. Father we are concerned about the financial situation facing our nation. Lord our staggering national debt is frightening. We pray our representatives and…
“Mommy, we named L's twin,” E's sweet voice and smile welcomed me as I walked into our kitchen. Tears stung my eyes and my heart moved to my throat. L joined in and we talked about names and babies I never held in my arms. The pain of those losses clung to me long after…
I found myself and my three kids in a very smelly bathroom that only had two stalls. (It is ok you can go ahead and snicker. . . I know you are laughing at me) When we first walked in the bathroom E dashed into the first stall and L tried to take the second….
Today is the day we remember. . . Towers falling, planes crashing, people jumping, heroes made and lost. We remember the thousands of lives lost. . . each one had a life song. . . Images of chaos, blood, smoke, dust, and ash fill our minds. Reminders. But do we really remember? Do we walk…
The trail curved, tall maple trees loomed on either side as the sun filtered green through the canopy of leaves. There wasn't much noise – no cars, voices, or hums from appliances. My husband and I walked hand-in-hand. “Can you hear it?” I broke our silence. My husband knitted his brow, then a flash of…
Happy Labor Day everyone! I hope you are having a GREAT weekend. Last week I had one of “those” days. The kind where you can't get the motion activated water in public restrooms to work, the soap sprays everywhere, a delayed flight, what was supposed to be a one hour lay-over turned into a…
Some days lay us low, stress us out, and there we stand as if naked – our sin and faults airing dirty. Our dreams of the picture perfect family and getting ready for school without drama shatter about us. Those days hang heavy as God gently but firmly chisels away the yuck to free us…
Tears stained my cheeks – crying was becoming a habit. One I didn't particularly enjoy, but perhaps God needed me here. My emotions raw over the hugeness of the dream only He could bring about. “I feel small,” I confessed to my friend. “When I talk about the dream, the goal God is laying on…
Today I have a post up at The M.O.M. Initiative and they are having two weeks of great give-aways. Check out the post Sibling Squabbles here. Yesterday I fasted from the time I woke up until 3 PM. I wonder if God uses fasting to show me how desperately sinful I am. I acted cranky,…
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 Faith, hope, and love I often wondered about these three. They all seemed so docile and personal. Depending on where I place my hope, faith and love these things could lead to selfishness and self-righteousness. This…
Last night I had about 50 or so youth from my church in my backyard. They swam and played a game called pickle ball. It was a lot of people and I noticed something about myself. When I am distracted by people and things, I don't pray. I turn off my brain and forget. I…
“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. ” Psalm 84:1-2 My stomach made that crazy loud empty sound and I felt like I hadn't eaten in weeks. It had only been…
I did it. Finally. . . I finished memorizing the book of James. I thought it would take me about 6 months, instead it took over a year. . . SIGH. The good thing is I am now DONE! I am doing a happy dance. I plan on reciting James in a YouTube video in…
I look out my window, drops of dew mixed with last night's rain cling to its surface. The damp world reflects the morning sunlight causing colors to appear more vibrant. As if awakened by the cooler weather and rain birds fly, bugs swarm, and hummingbirds visit the feeder outside my window. The rain awakens life….
There are times when life weighs heavy and laughter is difficult to find. Times when: men open fire on a full movie theater… adults use and abuse children they are to protect… people ignore signs of abuse to protect their image… jobs are hard to find… the future seems dark and twisted… dear friends move…
Religion is tough – a list of rules and rituals we must follow to be pleasing to God. If we only do enough things right then maybe God will be pleased with us. Religion is grueling work and there is no way to measure if you have done enough to please God. A relationship is…
S’mores – that warm, gooey, chocolate-y, and graham cracker treat most often reserved for camp-outs – have come to my kitchen. About the beginning of June each year stores begin to sell marshmallows next to chocolate and graham crackers. I resist the urge for a few trips to the store, but it doesn’t last long….
Sometimes heads ache and stomachs go wonky. Some days your head spins with something other than thoughts. Some nights there are a random acts of sickness that don’t make it to the toilet and rob you of precious sleep in the middle of the night (as you change sheets). Perhaps a lizard may try to…
My four-year-old son wailed as we walked through Wal-Mart. “My…legs…HURT. CARRY ME mommy!” He flopped to the floor and dropped the bottle of cleanser I asked him to carry. One of my girls reached down and picked up his Soft Scrub. I stopped and turned to her. “No,” I told her. “He needs to carry…
Pondering Titus 2:11-14 today. For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior,…
“Humph,” my L grunted as she took a breath while swimming. “Humph.” Her grunts came closer together the longer she swam. Neither her swimming instructor nor I could figure out why she grunted. The next time she did her freestyle down the length of the pool I watched her carefully. As she turned her head…
These moments are slipping away. I rocked my boy today because tomorrow he may not let me. I held my oldest child's hand because soon she will be too big. I picked up my middle girl because soon she will be too big. The moments slip, but each new moment holds something good, something different….
Today I will have about 22 people running around my house 11 kids (two are teenagers) and 11 adults. I may be crazy, but I am super excited to spend some time with my family. We will play, swim, talk, laugh, pray, eat, drink, and enjoy each other. We may even see some fireworks (if…
“You have something on your face right. . .there,” I pointed at my face in the approximate position my girl needed to wipe her face. “No I don't,” she shook her head and stamped her foot. Anger flashed in my eyes and my heart clenched. I took a quick breath. “Father help…
“My LEGS HURT!” my boy wails and thrashes on the floor. I raise my eyebrows as he looks at me. “I. . .can't. . .walk.” “You can walk,” I nod. “God gave two legs. You are healthy. Now go to your room.” His temper rises and he screams angry at me….
“I miss the old Disney movies like The Lion King,” the clerk in the airport said. I smiled and thought, “He thinks the ‘The Lion King’ is old?! How old does he think I am?” That got me thinking about perspective. It colors how I view what is old and new. It helps me offer…
“Are you serious?” I asked the TSA agent incredulously. “My hands tested positive for explosives?” At 4:00 AM that morning my husband and I woke up. Fifteen minutes later we roused our three children (ages 9, 6, and 4). By 4:45 AM the five of us were on our way to the airport. We checked…
My first lesson about grace didn’t happen in church. At seven I opened the door of my heart to Jesus. I knew I sinned, I knew He died and rose again for me, but somehow I missed grace. I grew-up thinking the Christian faith logical. Anyone smart enough to look would discover God is God…
I can’t believe 30 days of training ourselves to pray continually is coming to an end. As I type, I am sitting in a prayer garden with sounds of chirping birds and running water from a water feature. A fitting place to commune with God in prayer. As I sit on this bench I picture…
Today is day 29 of my praying continually challenge. Whew, it has been a challenge. How did it go for you? Here are a few lessons I have learned about my prayer life. 1. My prayer life is not rich enough. I need to pray more throughout the day, but I also need to set…
As I type, tears are streaming down my face. Partially because I’ve been drinking Satan’s kool-aid. The kind labeled Inadequate and Never-Good-Enough. The other reason is I am blessed with praying friends. Tomorrow I will stand before nearly 400 kids and teach them about God. Over the last week I imbibed from the fountain of…
Yesterday I mentioned God calling me to training myself to pray continually. I have not made my index cards yet, but I have noticed when my mind starts to wander I catch myself and pray more. Consider joining me for this 30 days of praying. Exodus 34:14 says, “ —for you shall not worship any…
I was thinking I need to do another vlog. It has been a LONG time since I spoke to you all. 😉 So I sat down to record and this is what I saw: Uh…So it has been a long day and yes I am wearing a cute hat, but I just couldn’t get…
Discontent. It hangs like a fog around my heart and soul. My gaze turns to myself–what I have, what I don’t, dreams unmet, longings unfulfilled. My dreams of more give direction, but if I am not careful they feed discontent. Why don’t I have it? I want it for His glory. The discontent changes the…
I have been memorizing the book of James. I am slowing down a bit, but I am more than half-way done. WOO HOO! This book is a challenging book. It is full of truths that begged to be lived out. One of those truths I memorized in the first chapter it says: “Religion that God…
It isn’t easy being me. I don’t mean my life is harder than average. I mean it is exhausting being me. One Saturday night my husband and I had an event to attend. I only had slight acquaintances with the attendees and a bad attitude. I didn’t want to go, I was uncomfortable, scared, and…
I got behind. Out of routine, out of time, out of sync. Behind in my Chronological Bible reading. I needed to read half of the March 27th reading and all of March 28th reading on March 28th. Reading the Bible in chronological order means I am in the Old Testament and will be for most…
“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 What a great promise that God is there before us, is with us, and never leaves us. Do you know who is speaking these words? It…
This is a journal entry I wrote while at a ladies retreat. I was reflecting on the following verses: Psalm 42:1-2 1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with…
My heart thundered in my chest as I tied my shoe. I wanted to win…I got the ball and went up for a shot. I missed, but I knew I was fouled. You would have thought I was playing in the NCAA National Tournament. Instead I was nine-years-old playing 3-on-3 during recess with my friends….
Chillaxin’….However that is not easy with three kids, but I do find my quiet time somehow. Time to be with my Lord! Friend time…A birthday celebration. Watch basketball…March Madness is in full swing! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Enjoy the beautiful weather….(this is an old picture…my grass is not that green yet) Get my hair cut…
So my attitude has been terrible lately…. Bad attitude about events I needed to attend Bad attitude about potty training Bad attitude about cleaning my house Bad attitude about writing Bad attitude….I prayed my attitude would not infect others. I believe mostly I kept it between God and I…There was that one morning…My bad attitude…
Someone asked me knowing what I know now what I would tell my sixteen-year-old self if I could go back in time. Sixteen…Driving…High School…After school job…Kansas Bible Camp…Debate/Forensics (speaking tournaments not CSI type stuff)…Youth Group… I was the “good little Christian girl.” I carried my Bible to school. I helped lead a Bible Study (held…
If God’s plans can’t be thwarted, if He is omniscient, if He is omnipotent, then why pray? What difference does it really make? Logically it doesn’t make sense. And yet: God tells us to pray… Ephesians 6:18 “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in…
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It came. The e-mail. The one I have been waiting over seven months for. The e-mail from the publisher. You know the publisher who accepted my book proposal last July at the SheSpeaks (writing/speaking) conference. Yes that e-mail. The one in the first few weeks that I waited with bated breath to come. I would…
Facebook status: “My last ultrasound showed my baby was small, next test scheduled on Tuesday.” I commented: “Praying for you.” Facebook status: “My husband is going on his 50th job interview over the last nine months. Pray he gets this one.” Many comment: “Praying” The question is what does “praying for you” really mean? Do…
It is March. In March my husband claims my eyes turn into basketballs. Did you know that I LOVE college basketball specifically the University of Kansas? ROCK CHALK, JAYHAWK, KU! It is March Madness in full swing and I am so excited about getting to see some amazing basketball games. I am also hoping my…
I am studying the book of Daniel in Bible Study. I struggle studying prophecy. I just don’t have pertinent historical facts filed away in my brain. Then there are about as many ways to interpret prophecy as there are people. So the prophetic portions of Daniel have taught me three things. God has a plan,…
“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) I imagine Thomas said these words with tears in his eyes, arms crossed, and maybe with a foot stamp at the end just for emphasis….
Taking a deep breath. Special time with my Lord. Time with my family (we slept on air mattresses in the living room Friday night). Continuing my workout routine (if four days can be called a routine ;). What are your Saturdays for?
Potty training time. I haven’t met anyone yet who says they love to potty train. I am in that boat. Yet at some point the child must learn. Wednesday I gave a talk and had a babysitter come to watch my little potty training man. I gave her the run down on how the potty…
I used to know a lot more than I do now. I had the best opinions about everything. I knew how to solve complicated problems because I was right. I was going to be President. It would be easy, I already had all the answers. I didn’t have experience, but I didn’t need it. I…
Am I crazy? The question rattled around in my brain and down to my heart. The silence was deafening. My heart beat quickened as I twisted myself into a pretzel. Stomach on the bed, rear in the air, twisting enough to get that injection in my hip. I knew I didn’t want the soreness putting…
Ding-Dong! DIIINNNNGGGG-DOOONNNNGGGG! Rap-rap-rap-rap. Inwardly I sigh. My mind begins to roll. Didn’t I just send them outside to play? Isn’t their dad outside with them? I am just trying to get dinner started! UGH!!! I am being interrupted. Reluctantly I turn the water off and slowly with mind still churning and frustration mounting I plod…
School projects, pjs, hearty breakfast…and a time of rest!!! At least in this season. Praying your Saturday is a wonderful day of rest. What are you doing this Saturday?
Honor has become an important word in my house. In fact it is a word that has changed how I parent, how I think, and how I view my life before God. The idea started when I read a book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids by Turansky…
Today marks one year of Rethinking My Thinking! I hope you enjoy this vlog and watch it all the way through because then you will see it. My new logo revealed! httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqXShMX9kB8
Last week I got a call from my sister. She was preparing a devotional talk for the inmates at a woman’s prison. She and several other women go to the jail to play basketball with the inmates and share Christ with them. She had a great idea about what to share, but needed some direction….
Her eyes sparkle with awe, wonder, joy. Suddenly her eyes moisten slightly as sadness darkens her countenance. Her eyes betray her inner struggle, but only briefly. The joy returns as she bends to talk to my little man. I recognize the emotion in her eyes. I have seen it before – in the mirror. It…
My soul feels raw. As if it had been drug down a carpeted hall at break-neck speed. A dry, burning, prickly raw-ness that hurts, hints, points and practically begs to be noticed… Oh, but I am too busy. Want to read the rest? It is over at (in)courage. I have the honor of being one…
Slowing DOWN!!!! Quiet Times with God. Hair cuts…Playing outside in beautiful unseasonably warm weather…Laughing with the kiddos… What are your Saturdays for? Leave a comment, I can’t wait to hear what you are up to…
Did you know that I am writing a book? I have a few friends reading over the manuscript currently. One of them e-mailed me and said that the difference between Christians and Non-Christians is their foundation. The wise builder and the foolish builder went through the same flood, but the one with the firm foundation…
“EWWWWWWWW…MOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY, J pooped,” her voice shakes the paintings on the walls as she flees her brother’s presence. “J we don’t want to play with you when you stink,” his other sister chimes in with the painful truth. I wince to hear her shun her brother. Oh, but I understand why. In fact there is a…
The crowds scream. They can taste the upset. My team is choking hard. It is ugly. I turn away to write this post. I love college basketball and I love watching the Jayhawks, but my identity is not wrapped up in whether they win or lose. I’ll be honest, I get really into these games….
I seriously have an issue with Valentine’s Day. As a kid my parents did give us candy and tell us they loved us. At school I got candy and those little cards that get thrown away almost as soon as you get home. I gave them too. As I got older, I secretly wished a…
Taking it easy…Relaxing…Eating Breakfast in bed?! 😉 Yes those are Cheerios…Yes that is my husband and my bed. Praying that you have a great Saturday! Leave a comment to let me know what you are doing this Saturday.
We open our hearts to one another. Share the hard things. The stuff that we struggle with. The things that leave our souls raw. The things we know are not quite right, but are not sure how to change. Some of the raw places are of our own making and others are wounds caused by…
Deep down that word makes me cringe. It makes the inner rebellious child in me stand up and say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.” It is hard for me to swallow the truth that I need help. The bottom line is that I like to think I have it all…
35 years ago today, my twin sister and I were born! Yes I am that young 😉 I decided to celebrate with a photo montage of my sister and I. In most of the pictures I am on the LEFT (don’t know why I am younger by four minutes). We have great stories of knocking…
My eyes pricked with tears – tears seem to come frequently – as I choked out the words to the song. Grateful, humbling, overwhelming tears. The kind that come from deep joy, deep sorrow, and the awe of amazing grace. The joy that God would save me, the sorrow that my sin would cost Him…
“It’s my dun mommy,” his voice louder than necessary as he points to a plastic cap on his coat. “I shoot bad duys [guys].” “Shhh, it is OK to pretend to shoot bad guys, but we need to use our indoor voice,” I encourage and quietly pray no one heard him. He persists in describing…
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