Sometimes I just can’t find the beat in life.
I wake up morning after morning and the rhythm of life does not match the rhythm of my heart.
And I know I am the one who is off-beat – not the good kind of off-beat. The kind when I am left looking around trying desperately to clap on the right beat, but I’m are off. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get back on beat. It’s as if I clapped on-beat one out of ten and I’ve exhausted myself trying to figure out how to get the other nine beats on target.
The longer off-beat my life feels the more it seems everyone else is in perfect rhythm. Their lives and hearts are clicking along and they are enjoying the beat their lives make. Soon my attitude becomes one of defeat and I lose hope.
“I’ll never get it…”
“This will never change…”
“I’m a terrible wife/mom/friend/hostess/teacher/sister/daughter…”
And I keep looking within to find the rhythm, but my heart cannot decide.
One day I love am passionate about teaching and sharing and learning. The next day I’m not.
One day I want to dream huge and try hard and pray God brings big things into my life. The next day I don’t.
How can I find rhythm if my heart keeps changing my mind? Maybe the rhythm of life isn’t meant to be determined by the metronome of my heart.
And so I search to find a metronome that doesn’t change on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis. I try schedules and self-helps and even well-meaning Bible Studies.
Still my heart is out of sync with my life and I wonder what I am going to do.
One morning I come to the end of myself. I come to the end of my wondering, worrying, striving self and God is there. So I tune my ears to my Creator and very quietly I hear it – a rhythm. The one He created for my life and for this season of my life. As I recognize the rhythm my heart slowly awakens to the beat. The rhythm of my heart begins to match the rhythm of life God intends for me. There is peace (even in chaos), fulfillment (even in longing), and joy (even in pain) when the rhythm of my heart matches the rhythm of life.
Don’t get me wrong, my heart still gets off beat at times. I’m still a rebellious soul who forgets the only metronome for my life is God and I go try to find my own rhythm sometimes. But my rhythm never satisfies – it only leaves me empty and wanting.
Only in God can I find a rhythm that satisfies.
How do we hear the rhythm God is calling us to live?
- Spend time praying and asking God for direction. Then be still and listen.
- Spend time studying God’s Word. We cannot hear the beat unless we know the sound of the metronome. The way to know God is through His Word.
- Ask a friend, pastor, mentor to for wisdom. Often God uses people to help us tune our ears to God’s metronome.
Is your heart out of rhythm with your life? What do you need to do to get back on rhythm?