I stand and wonder.
I strain my eyes to see the days, weeks, years that could be down that road. Murky images of maybes and what-ifs dance around the curve.
I turn to look down the other path and hope to see something else. Something more substantial. Is this the road?
Each path holds promise and each requires faith.
And change it isn’t easy and maybe it is fear that keeps me on the same path.
And I stand poised. My foot itching to take the next step.
Yet a voice behind me whispers softly.
And my back wants to arch and my body wants to rebel, but I know the voice. I know I must wait.
Doubts fly about me and batter my heart. Fear plants itself deep down in my heart.
Fear can paralyze, but fear can purify too.
It burns in my heart and I see the disease of it all. The fear it comes from dark places of pride.
So as I wait at the crossroads I feel the fire. I smell the smoke. The dead places dying.
And He is near. He hides me under His wing. He sings over me and calls me his beloved.
There at the crossroads when I don’t know which way to go, He delights over me.
And I don’t deserve His patience, His guidance, or His love…Still He is there loving me, guiding me, waiting for me…
And I wait – at times impatiently – for Him to show me the next step.