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Some days I wonder when my sinful self will get out of my way. I hear wonderful news from a friend and wonder why not me. I want to be happy for my friend, but I ache for me.When will this get easier, God? I hate this feeling. No answer comes. my heart just squeezes tight and tears prick my eyes.
Perhaps longing for the days when my selfish self can truly rejoice with my friends is a longing God placed in my heart – a longing for home, for heaven.
A hope this stumbling woman cannot live without – a day when heaven opens up and God does away with sin, pain, death.
A day I pray we are all prepared for – a day when Jesus is all that matters. A day we see our salvation and spend eternity proclaiming over and over the praise of Him who gave all so we could live.
My heart yearns for it. I want to bring others with me and I remember. I remember that the man who died for me needs to be on my lips and in my heart. I need to live for Him and trust His plans for my life always.
Maybe that is the answer. As I watch my precious friends receive God’s blessing, I must trust God’s plans for my life – no matter the direction He takes me, no matter the dreams deferred. I must trust the One who loved me enough to die for me, to take hell for me, and who has plans for me. In that trust the pain of unreached dreams fades. In the light of His plan for my life, my dreams appear small and fragile. No the pain isn’t completely gone, this side of heaven I will not understand, but I do know He has great plans for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
What do you do when comparison threatens to rob your joy for a friend? How do you handle it?