As I type, tears are streaming down my face. Partially because I’ve been drinking Satan’s kool-aid. The kind labeled Inadequate and Never-Good-Enough. The other reason is I am blessed with praying friends.
Tomorrow I will stand before nearly 400 kids and teach them about God. Over the last week I imbibed from the fountain of lies. Lies I allowed to steal my joy. I played every mistake over and over in my head. Things I enjoy doing became burdens and burdens became insurmountable. When things didn’t go the way I planned I picked up the blame. A failure like me who couldn’t even run her home, how could I teach kids about God?
Frustrated I poured my heart out to God and my husband. I also sent some friends a text that asked them to pray and they did. Then, as if God had cleared the fog in my mind, I realized I needed the 30-days of praying continually posts and vlogs. I needed to pray the armor, allow worry to remind me to pray, and sink into deeper times of prayer rather than only the hurried times. My heart is still raw, drinking from the fountain of lies leaves wounds. However the peace of God is washing over my soul and bringing healing.
Perhaps it is in times of desperate dependance on God that we pray continually. If that is true then I need more moments of desperation not less. These desperate moments are not plagued with doubt, but rather come from humility. Doesn’t prayer require humility–admission that I am frail and helpless apart from an amazing loving God.
Maybe then our failures can be reminders to pray. Reminders that we cannot live this life of faith without God’s Spirit filling us. We must be in constant communication with the One who enables us to bring glory to Himself.
Has humility ever helped remind you to pray?