My mind swirled. I created busy-ness in my head. List upon list and wondered how it could all be done.
The swirling tugged my heart down as if I was being sucked down into the pit.
My neck and shoulders stiffened.
“No!” I want to yell. “I can’t. I won’t. No more to-do lists. I just want to do what I want to do. No more demands on MY time. No more interruptions. No more puppies getting into things. No more accidents. No more disobedience. I just want to be left alone.”
“Selfish,” the truth hit me like a ton of bricks.
I say “all I want is….my kids to obey, things not to break, puppies to stop nipping, not .” In reality what I am saying is, “I want the world to revolve around me and my wants and desires.”
I want things I buy to work right. I want kids who never disobey. I want puppies who are not puppies. I want other people to volunteer for things, but leave me alone.
Don’t get me wrong. There is such a thing as too busy and I can flirt with that line if I am not careful, but I can also swing the pendulum the other direction too. I get so caught up in what I want this day to look like or what I want to do that I never stop to ask God what He wants me to do.
I get frustrated with folks asking for my time because in reality I don’t want to give anyone my time. I want it for me. Again I need to find rest and moments of refreshment, but I must realize it isn’t MY time anyway, it is God’s time.
Yes God has plans for the time He gives us. I don’t know about you, but I know I waste time often. I worry or get frustrated when things don’t go my way. I forget things always go God’s way.
So here is our challenge. This week take your to-do list to God ask Him how He wants you to spend the time He gives you. Does He want you to volunteer to help somewhere? Do you need to say no? Consult God. Ask Him to make it clear to you and then take the steps He calls you to take.
I know what He is telling me. “Stop being so grumpy about your time. I have a plan for it. Rest in Me and My plans for you.”
What is He telling you?