Today I lost my voice. This happens about once or twice a year. My kids wonder where it went and I hope it comes back soon. In the mean time I thought I would tell you about how I nearly lost my sanity last week and what got me back on track…
My week seemed to swallow me whole – two new puppies, puppy potty training, puppy training to the electric fence, teaching them to stop fighting constantly, my sweet kiddos, my husband, and my normal daily duties. Then there was teaching the pups not to yip/bay/howl at random times and cleaning up puppy accidents.
By Wednesday I thought I was going to lose it. My mind felt like it was in a tilt-a-whirl. Stuck to the wall while the rest of the world spun wildly out of control. My emotions kept the tilt-a-whirl spinning. My heart nagged me with guilt, inadequacies, and failures. As my world spun and spun and spun around me I nearly lost myself, perspective, and my anchor.
I fed the frenzied emotional turmoil by not setting aside time to spend on my knees or in the Word. Christ is my anchor, my ever-present help. Yes God is my peace, but if I don’t tap into His presence then how can I find His peace?
I nearly lost perspective because I fixated on what-ifs and this-will-never-end scenarios. The truth is God is in control of health issues, dog issues, kid issues, and all other issues. I just need to ask Him for wisdom and direction. He is able and I am not. Through Him I can make wise choices in training dogs and children. He is able to work out health issues. He is sovereign.
I began to lose myself because I wouldn’t give myself permission to speak of my crazy-spinning-out-of-control emotions to anyone. I holed up and wondered if I would go nuts. I didn’t spill my guts to God, my husband, or my friends. I bottled it up and blamed myself for buying two puppies for my kids. The blaming only added to the craziness.
A few things helped me regain myself, my perspective, and my anchor. I spent time in the Word, so refreshing. I stopped looking at only the now and realized that time is ticking away, nothing on this earth will last, and I can trust God who is in control of it all. Finally I spent some extended time with some great friends. I came back home refreshed, recharged, and ready for a new week – except for my voice…Anyone seen it?
What helps you when you feel like you are losing it?