Somehow words don’t seem enough to convey what is going on in my heart and soul. God using His eternal chisel, breaking bits of the ugly, sinful parts of me away. God using His hammer with truth that hits its mark swift and hard and parts of me that I held close crumbles. My frustrations exposed, pride discovered, and anger close to the surface.
I wonder how to live with this new thing in my life. How do you do life with something hard and raw exposing cracks and the stink of sin so hidden I didn’t even know it was there?
How do I come near to Him who wields the chisel and hammer and though He frees me sometimes the freeing feels like dying. Dying to self, to sin, to dreams, to plans. How does He who could stop the pain, withhold the chisel also provide the best comfort?
I do not know. I wonder at the light of the world walking in the darkness beside me holding me tight and yet letting the darkness stay. Does He know it is the darkness that allows me to bloom? Is it true that the best growing occurs in the dark moments, the chiseling, the hammering all for a purpose – to free me, to draw me to Him, to expose my weak faith, to bring me to my knees in front of Him?
Isn’t it the darkness that keeps us on our knees? Why aren’t we there in the light? Isn’t it the chisel that makes us aware of our sin? Why are not examining ourselves without the blows of the chisel? Isn’t the hammer – sometimes swung swift and sometimes barely tapping – what reminds us we desperately need Him? Why do we think we can do this life without Him?
The Light of the World walks with me in darkness. The Master Artist chisels the ugly sin away. He is not done yet. He is making something beautiful. I just have to trust Him.