Right Thinking Wrong Thinking…Relationships

I see it in status updates on Facebook.

“I won’t let you treat me like that.”

I hear it on the news,

“He only thought he could treat me like that!” Insert finger snap, head swivel, and the flashing lights of a police car as she is arrested for shooting her cheating boyfriend.

Movies, books, newspapers it is everywhere. The problem? We cannot control how others treat us.

Wrong Thinking: I demand that other people treat me right!

Heart Issue: Unforgiveness, bitterness, frustration, anger when someone does not treat you “right.” Not to mention that one person’s view of “right” treatment is not the same as another person’s view.

Actions: You are demanding of certain behaviors. You demand that others listen when you speak, they don’t cut you off when driving, they don’t talk about you behind your back. However you can treat them any way you want and when you say you are sorry they should forgive you. You may even talk about these folks behind their backs when they have wronged you, but you don’t notice because they are the “ones in the wrong.” Since you demand certain behaviors you are not grateful when someone does treat you right. So instead of saying, “Thank you,” you say, “Finally.” Often tirades ensue when inevitably someone mistreats you. You seek out wrongs instead of seeking the best in your relationships.

Right Thinking: I will treat others as I want to be treated regardless of how they treat me.

Heart Issue: When you are wronged, instead of anger, sadness ensues. Your heart is bent towards reconciliation, forgiveness, kindness, humility, and gratitude. You trust God to stand up for you and you rest in His Spirit’s work. His Spirit is the one who can change the hearts of those who wrong you. He doesn’t need your help.

Actions: When wronged you forgive quickly. You seek out the best in your relationships. You are grateful for kindness and courtesy. Your actions are dripping with grace. If confrontation is necessary it is done in love and grace, not in an entitled, demanding way.

Disclaimer: If someone is abusing you physically or emotionally you need to get to a safe place and find help! There is no right or wrong thinking. Get yourself safe.

 

Do you see this kind of thinking in the world today? What do you think? How can you help get rid of the stinking thinking?

Please join in. Leave a comment, sign-up for e-mail alerts so you don’t miss a post or getting the feed in your preferred reader. I can’t wait to get to know you better.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Angela
This entry was posted in Rethinking Christian Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Right Thinking Wrong Thinking…Relationships

  1. D2 says:

    I recently read Joshua Harris’s I Kissed Dating Goodbye. One of the things he points out is that people often enter relationships simply for the sake of being in the relationship, and that today enjoying someone else’s company is more important that committing to someone else for the rest of your lives.

    While it’s important the enjoy the company of others, it’s even more important to use our relationships to glorify God.

    • Yes Daniel that is true. It is important to glorify God in all our relationships and that includes the difficult ones. When other don’t treat us right and we have no choice but to deal with them at work or home or school. 😉

  2. I often find that I have feelings of entitlement in my marriage. I mean, we made vows. There are serious promises that need to be kept. He’d better treat me right for all that I put up with! Yipes!

    There are so many times when I *feel* wronged by my husband or *angry* because he won’t do or act a certain way.

    The best way I’ve found to combat that negative (sinful) thinking is start listing and thanking God for all the blessings in my life (including my husband) 🙂

    I’ve always said and believed that I’m the only one who can change perspective. But sometimes it’s easier said than done.

    • So true M.B.P. 😉

      Our perspective or our thinking shade all that is in our hearts and what we do. So if we change our perspective things look a whole lot better.

      So glad you could stop by today!

  3. Wolfhowl098 says:

    Anger in and of itself is not a bad thing. God gave us the emotion of anger to alert us of when we’re being mistreated. However, that does not excuse our behavior. Reasoning will back up our emotions (and vice versa), and Satan will use that to try to cause us to sin. But, the good news is that we can purposely CHOOSE not to follow our emotions, and be merciful and forgiving anyway (which I’m having a lot of trouble doing, but maybe reading this will help someone. Writing/typing it is already helping me).

    • Angela_Mackey says:

      Wolfhowl098 – Choosing forgiveness and mercy is against our nature. Only God can do that through us, but we must let Him. I pray He helps you as you seek to choose mercy instead of acting on your emotions.

Join in the discussion.