Dodging Arrows

I confess I am not always eloquent, nor do I much grace. I am a klutz who is too familiar with the taste of foot because I often find my foot in my mouth. When it comes to infertility it seems the world around us has foot-in-mouth disease. People say things that must seem funny or insightful to them, but feel like arrows piercing our aching hearts. At least that is how I have felt lately.

I have been dodging arrows. People hear I have three kids or see me with them and jokingly ask, “Are you ready for another.” They think I will quickly say, “NO!” They don’t know that I desperately want more and that I am sad that I have lost so many. I try to dodge the arrow, to pretend I didn’t hear or to laugh it off. Some days I answer, “I would like more, but I can’t have more.” Other days I even explain myself further. “Two of my three are IVF babies, but we don’t have any more embryos, so we can’t have more.” The explanation could drag on and on about the miracle I am praying for and waiting on God to accomplish. In the mean time I am dodging arrows.

Sometimes those arrows hit home and hit hard. I get mad or frustrated. I can really let those emotions drag me somewhere I don’t want to go. So instead I have been praying for wisdom and discernment. I have been praying that as I don the armor of God, I use it wisely. That the belt of truth will be my foundation, that the breastplate of righteousness will guard my aching heart. I pray my feet will be ready to go to spread the gospel regardless of my unruly emotions. I hold high that shield of faith because it helps me ward off the fiery darts Satan throws at me. I pray that my salvation will guard my mind as my helmet and that I will use God’s word as the sword of the Spirit in gentleness and love. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Sisters, infertility is a battle we are walking through, but God didn’t put us on this battle field helpless, defenseless, or offense-less. We have Godly armor available for our use, as others toss hurtful, crazy, off-the-wall comments toward us. We have to choose to wear it and pray for wisdom about how and when to use certain parts of it.

Father God, we are longing for children and You have said no, at least for now. So we pray that You will give us the strength to don Your armor. Help give us wisdom about when to use Your sword and when it is time to dodge arrows. Father, we thank You that through Your power and wisdom, we do not have to face these hurtful comments alone. Thank You for Your love and provision. Amen.

What are some arrows you have and thrown your way lately? Share with me some of the crazy or even uneducated things people have said to you.

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Angela
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2 Responses to Dodging Arrows

  1. smithlaurel says:

    I know that you both rejoice with me and ache when you think of me, dear Ang. People often throw the “How many are you planning to have?” question at me (usually not the same people who ask, “Don’t you know how that happens?”). I’ve found a response that works for me, regardless of how I’m feeling about the subject… “That’s up to the Lord,” or “We’ll see what God has in store for us.” Because really, no matter the circumstances, it really is in His loving hands.
    I’ve concluded that I don’t need to explain my thoughts/feelings/convictions/struggles, especially with people who don’t know me well and who are asking in passing, not knowing that their words might be arrows. People who ask because they really want to know are another issue.
    I hope that’s helpful somehow. Love you!

  2. Thanks Laurel. I love you and am so thankful for the way that God has blessed you and Jonathan. He knows what is best for Dan and I. He is more interested in me being holy than being happy. I am confident in His faithfulness, His love for me, His perfect plan. I appreciate your idea on how best to respond. I pray for God’s wisdom about how to respond to those questions from strangers and from those closer. Your suggestion is another tool I can add to my box. Thanks friend!

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