I prayed that God would use a difficult time in my life to glorify Him. I didn’t want to go through all that YUCK and PAIN for nothing. So I prayed He would use it. I never imagined where that prayer would take me, but let me tell you, I am AMAZED and HUMBLED by what He is doing.
First I had to get over myself. Seriously, I had decided that God would use my pain and yuck in a way that was easy on me. In a way that I could glorify Him at the time, but that I could walk through it and be done. How wrong I was. God has me writing a book about this very difficult time. He has me studying how to deal with difficult times and has me walking those roads again. I am exploring those old emotions, remembering the searing pain, and thanking God for it. WHY? Well, for one that road has brought me to my knees and closer to Him. I am more compassionate and humble now than when I started that road. That road has taught me that I can’t do life myself. I need friends to strengthen and sharpen me. That road has shown me that I can love a God who doesn’t work the way I think He should, but works infinitely better and more detailed that I could imagine.
Through this process of working on writing a book and writing a book proposal and studying God’s word for this book God is humbling me. However God is also encouraging me. So often we ask God to help us, but we don’t think to talk to those around us. We forget that God puts people in our paths for a reason. I have found the more I tell others about my book the more God blesses me. I have also found that I have to get over my pride and ask for help. Oh, I HATE that! I want to do it on my own, but I can’t. The more I have asked the more willing help I have found! Seriously? You mean it is that easy? Why haven’t I asked for help before? I am TOO PROUD! However God is good. He is bring my pride down…I must decrease and He must increase as John the Baptist said.
So how have I learned these lessons? The more people who hear about my book, the more encouragement and publishing contacts I have gained. Also because I swallowed my pride and my fear and asked, an organization is willing to read my book for a possible endorsement! Yes, me a nobody in publishing, someone who HATES to “bother” people with my stuff, who is timid and fearful often when it comes to something I have written, was BOLD. WHY? 2 Tim 1:7 “..God has not given [me] a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” So as I seek to honor and glorify God, He is encouraging me along this path. Does that mean this journey will turn up easy and all roses? NO WAY! However that means that God is good and faithful. He is bringing me closer to Him and opening my heart and mind to things I never expected. He is GOOD!!! ALL the time!