Christian Faith Discussions, Christian Infertility Support and Devotionals at Rethinking Thinking My Thinking

Testify

Posted onMay 17th,2013

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It’s been a crazy week.

A trip to Memphis last weekend.

Mother’s Day.

A new seminary class started this week.

Dance recital rehearsals, lots of them.

An appointment with home repair folks.

AWANA awards picnic.

Planing a baby shower.

Field day at school.

Then another recital rehearsal, decorating for a baby shower, the actual recital, the baby shower, and a coffee to say goodbye to a friend…

And my head is spinning.

But God whispers low into my crazy.

He whispers that His load is light in the midst of the crazy spinning around me.

He reminds me that He has a plan and a purpose.

He faithfully helps me through the racing turning with wild grace that I could never deserve.

And He covers my sinful ways with His blood.

And I wonder at it all.

I wonder at God’s crazy gift of love wrapped in human flesh.

His love for me is amazing. His grace is overwhelming. His peace is given even in the crazy weeks.

And I wonder what my life is testifying to this crazy crazy week…

Does my life reflect my Savior?

Am I grateful in the midst of the busy-ness?

Do I have time for people or am I too stuck on my to-do list?

How do you stay centered on Christ when everything else is so crazy?

Angela

At the Crossroads

Posted onMay 15th,2013

I stand and wonder.

I strain my eyes to see the days, weeks, years that could be down that road. Murky images of maybes and what-ifs dance around the curve.

I turn to look down the other path and hope to see something else. Something more substantial. Is this the road?

Each path holds promise and each requires faith.

And change it isn’t easy and maybe it is fear that keeps me on the same path.

And I stand poised. My foot itching to take the next step.

Yet a voice behind me whispers softly.

“Wait.”

And my back wants to arch and my body wants to rebel, but I know the voice. I know I must wait.

Doubts fly about me and batter my heart. Fear plants itself deep down in my heart.

Fear can paralyze, but fear can purify too.

It burns in my heart and I see the disease of it all. The fear it comes from dark places of pride.

So as I wait at the crossroads I feel the fire. I smell the smoke. The dead places dying.

And He is near. He hides me under His wing. He sings over me and calls me his beloved.

There at the crossroads when I don’t know which way to go, He delights over me.

And I don’t deserve His patience, His guidance, or His love…Still He is there loving me, guiding me, waiting for me…

And I wait – at times impatiently – for Him to show me the next step.

Angela

When the Pain Binds You Together

Posted onMay 13th,2013

My scars and old wounds, I revealed them this weekend.

Tore the bandage off the hidden ugliness behind the pain and wounds. In front of women I never met, but I knew a part of their struggle.

I stood in a room full of women dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss and I spoke words of comfort, words of truth, words of correction.

And some of them cried and inside my heart ached for each one. My heart cried out broken and without answers. Yet there is hope and God, He doesn’t tells us the whys or the hows…But He is able to give us what we want or to withhold it.

He gives and He takes away and when we cling to Him our faith increases. God’s ways are not mine and it isn’t the amount of faith I have that will heal me, but the amount of grace I let God pour on me. His healing is of the eternal kind. Sometimes He heals physically, but sometimes He does not…Still we are healed in eternity.

Yet the physical pain remains and the questions are unanswered. It doesn’t seem fair.

So together we walk the road…The road that may lead to miracles in our bodies, in our hearts, or on our doorsteps. Miracles that bring us biological children, a peace about how many children we have, or children to adopt. The road may still have twists and turns.

There will be losses and gains and pain. Tears will be shed and one thing I saw in that beautiful group of women on Saturday.

The pain binds. It is true in my life. Those who walked the darkest days with me, they are the closest.

And shared pain it binds you tight and keeps you close. It is what we bear for each other. Pain that we cannot understand, pain that burns, pain that sears our heart to others.

And there it is in a group of women dealing with infertility, walking the road together, those women who struggle through church on Mother’s Day and wonder if they will ever get to be called momma. The pain is binding them together. They cry together, rejoice together, hope together.

I just want you to know you are never alone in your pain. Share it. It is worth it.

_________________________

So memorizing friends…This week let’s work on 1 John 2:7-8…The wording of these verses is difficult for me to get in my head. How is it going for you?

Angela

Love U 3 Do I Love All of God?

Posted onMay 10th,2013

My fingers are not the most nimble and at times texting can be dangerous.

The dreaded auto-correct makes an innocent text sound like a proposition.

And when I meant to text my husband “Love U 2,” my finger slid or something it I sent “Love U 3.”

I smiled and quickly sent another text “2. Not 3″

But God tugged at my heart. Three…I love You three.

God the amazing three in one – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

And do I really love them all – all 3?

Jesus certainly I love Jesus, He died for me.

The Father…well, He sent Jesus, so sure I love Him too.

The Holy Spirit. . . do I even know what He does? Do I appreciate who this part of God is? Do I even fathom that this is the part of God who lives in me? Do I get it that prior to the Pentecost after Jesus’ resurrection no one ever dreamed God would do this? No one ever dreamed of God becoming man in the way Jesus did…Certainly no one even imagined He would die in our place a gruesome death…But even more than that the Holy Spirit moves into our souls and lives with us now. Always.

Prior to the Holy Spirit coming, that wasn’t an option. They prayed God would not take the Holy Spirit away from them. When Israel was wandering in the desert God appeared as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, but that same Spirit now lives inside us.

He comforts us, counsels us, spurs us on to love and good deeds. And He sticks around even when I am walking far from the path God intended. He is there in the darkness and He is there in the light.

And it is true that I Love U 3, God.

________________________

Hello friends. Today I am traveling to Memphis to speak at this event:

Would you please pray for me and the women attending. Oh that I would speak only words God gives me, that His glory will be known, and these women will be encouraged and blessed. Thank you.